From zero to hero - in Poland!

As I sit at my desk at the office my mind is still processing the experience I had in Poland.
And to start of I wanted to share a song that reminds me only of AIESEC in Poland and the cool, random guys in the MC!



I was told to be prepared for a tough delegates that demand professional conference and where the first impression means everything, and AIESEC in Poland being one of the strongest AIESEC countries I automatically became a little nervous.
As I headed for the airport I was feeling excited and wondering if I would make this first impression I needed, both for Facis and delegates, and if I was ready for this journey I was about to embark on!

I want to share some of the points that made me smile and overall experience but details will only be given in person as it would take to long to write!

when I arrived at the airport I had interesting experience that made me smile.
I was flying with a low cost airline so the airport I went to was extremely small and there was no order in the check in line and the boarding line. So as orderly I am, I was stuck in middle of this crowed and I just followed the flow. that really put a smile on my face as this is something I'm completely not used to!

When the plane landed people started clapping and I started laughing. Why were they clapping? happy to be alive? happy to be home? supporting the pilot? I found this extremely interesting and again, my travel to Poland had put a smile on my face!

I took the train straight to this lovely little town called Czestochowa ( yes, try to pronounce it )where the conference I was chairing would be held. When the train came to the destination I hear 3 guys singing and doing push ups when they come out of the train. They were just finishing their army term and were celebrating. This was very cool to see and another fun event that made me smile. So far the trip to Poland was good.

As I met the Faci team for SMS ( Spring Management Seminar ) I didnt feel nervous any longer. This team was super cool, they were well prepared and they had fun. So I had fun as well.
Working with this team of 16 people was a pleasure, I bonded with many of them and they all made my smile, laugh and enjoy this great experience. I want to thank them as I dont think this challenge would have been as pleasurable as it was with out them!

I was pleasantly surprised with the openness and randomness of Polish people. They dont take them too seriously and for me, that was a perfect atmosphere as I dont like to take myself too seriously either.
They were so open to come and talk to me, ask me questions, ask for my ideas and share theirs. It was so amazing to talk to these super cool individuals about everything on their minds and share my experience.

I got great feedback from people, they liked my smiles, my randomness and openness and my spirit.
For me, that's priceless as it confirms to me that I'm a person that people respond well to and I am likable. I'm happy to hear that!

Meeting people from previous conferences, hearing how they are doing, what they are doing in life and reconnecting was also something that for me was great!

Global Village on saturday was an experience I do not regret having, although the next day I was not feeling so positive ;)
Seeing how proud people are of their LCs and their cities was really nice. And made me really want to explore more of Poland!

I had quite many goals for me personally, what I wanted to get out of this experience.
I managed to reach all but one!
For me thats very good.

I still think I need to process the experience more in order to really get everything out of it so I will do that.
This was in short, my experience in Poland, as a chair of their national conference!
- Super cool ( with an indian accent )

- with love -

Water Bankruptcy - closer then we think?

Yesterday I watched this video and it really made me think.

I come from a country where we live quite well ( used to at least ) and thoughts about lack of water doesn't cross anyone's mind.
It wasn't until I joined AIESEC that I really started hearing about sustainability and what we NEED to do in order to prevent things like water "bankruptcy" to happen.
Even in Iceland, water is not everlasting if we keep continuing to waste it. But we do have a lot of it though.

When I lived in southern France I was told to take fast showers to save water.. so I did, and I still do.
I close the tab when I'm brushing my teeth as well as when I do the dishes.
What more can I do as an individual?

Looking at this video gave me few ideas but it also showed that if my generation and the generations to come dont start thinking about this.. We will end up with water bankruptcy.
I'm not willing to let that happen.

"I am convinced that, under present conditions and considering the way water is being currently
managed, we will run out of water long before we run out of fuel.”
Peter Brabeck-Letmathe, Chairman of the Board, Nestlé, Switzerland ( taken from the website of world economic forum )

So what can an individual do?
What should we focus on?
How can we contribute to a sustainable society?

Just few other things that have been going through my mind these passed days and I wanted to share!

- with sustainable love-

I would do anything for love.........

....... or would I?

Yesterday, as I looked up at the sky on my way home from the movies there are no stars to be seen.
I walk with a smile on my face, it's been a good day.

The movie I just saw is Slumdog Millionaire - a movie that happens in India where luck, love and fight for survival were the main themes for me.
- You create your own luck?
- Love concurs all?
- You have to fight for the good things in life - easy life comes with a price?

these questions were on my mind when I walked home yesterday night.

Slumdog Millionaire is a heartbreaking movie about a young man who's life has never been easy after a tragic death of a family member. despite the hard life this young man never gives up hope for life and more important - Love!
A search for a better life means a search for the girl he's in love with.
Now, I dont wanna spoil anyone's ending of the movie so my thoughts of conclusion are following.
- Does Love make life worth living?
- Does love concur all in the end if we believe it strongly enough?
- Where is the line between love and obsession of a person?

Love is important to my as I have repeatedly written here.
I believe in love and I believe in hope.
But I struggle with few concepts that love is supposed to include, like "soul mate" and "love at first sight".
Why?

Here we have a story about a guy who knows he loves this girl that it was their destiny to be together - they were soulmates.
and then, if I compare this to another movie I saw earlier this month He's just not that into you, the search for love was fight, a game of hope and trust but never did the people so desperately looking for love mentioned soul mate. You had to fight to get to know the person in order to love one.

oh man.. as I keep thinking about soul mates, falling in love, and fighting for love.. there are so many questions I wanna ask, and so many thing I'm not sure how I would react to.
- Would I, if I fell in love and lost him, search the world to find him back - knowing we're meant to be together?
- Knowing how hard it is to find a person you can trust, am I willing to put myself out there and I'm a ready to fight for love?
- Is faith in love strong enough to make it happen?
- and what does it mean to fight for love? What am I supposed to do?

Both of these movies didnt give me any answers, only more questions I will think about. But then again, answers were not the reasons I went to see them in the first place.
I did, however, learn something from both, different as they are. :)

-with love-

Choices to make - paths to take!

As I promised in my post yesterday, I'm back to my smiling self.
But it wasn't easy.
Yesterday was an extremely tiring day, physically as well as emotionally.
When I came home from Evry after delivering a training in effective communication I slept until my alarm went of this morning.
That hasn't happen for 2 weeks now - a good night sleep!

I managed to get back to my smiling self with help of great people that I care about - and they care about me!
I also decided to take the advise of a very wise friend - Nat King Cole - And just smile :)



with the support of my friends and family, it's now time for me to take a decision.
I need to take life in my own hands and decide not to be sad anymore, not to feel used anymore and not to be in a situation that makes me wanna scream.

Another smart friend of mine wrote on his blog something that I am relating to in this time of my life. - we only have one go at life. We only realize that we have made the wrong choice in life after we have made the choice.
But I do feel that even though we realize after the choice has been made the effect of it's choosing - that we can still make another choice to try to minimize the effect it will have in our lives or even chance the path completely.
Life is full of choices and we have no way knowing which choice will lead us to where we want to be - but we have to try anyway to get there. Or at least I will try!

Now, life is throwing at me some choices and I do have to make a decision. I will only find out after if it was indeed the right one for me to make!
But I'm willing to take that risk and go on with my life :)
-with love-

Sharing of feelings and frustrations

This morning I have been questioning me and the reasons I'm fighting in this role.
I'm questioning my motives to stay, my thoughts of wanting to quit and the value of my work as well as questioning other people's behavior towards me when I'm feeling this stressed out.

This morning I have felt inferior, tiny and unappreciated.
And I wonder if it's because the people that I'm trying to communicate with dont see the reason for me to be stressed, for being angry and for wanting to change some things.
Am I overreacting?
is that giving them reason to make me feel so small?
Am I making more from the situation then actually is there?
Why would I question myself if everything is as I feel, as I see it and as bad as I say?

I'm guilty because I'm not motivated to do my work because I feel like I should stick it out.
But then, family and friends - whose who care about me - tell me to leave. It's not shameful to leave when you are treated like dirt, it's not my fault, that I have done everything I can.
Again, I question that - Have I done everything I can?
Did I absolutely try?

In my heart I feel the answer is yes.
I have looked the other way when areas of my life were so challenging that I wouldnt sleep at night.
I have done the best I can communicating and being transparent in my role.
I have informed individuals about the situation and offered my help to make things better - even if it's not my role to do so.
I have smiled, laughed, cried, screamed and still I'm sitting at the chair and questioning am I doing something wrong?
Why do I feel as it's my fault?

Today I feel like this is it!
Today I want to walk out and never come back.
Today I will try to smile and make this day go by knowing the people I work with do not care ( as far as I can feel )
and today will be another day at the office with no motivation and feeling waist of time.

Just a random sharing of my feelings - today they are lower then usual.
Tomorrow I will back to my smiling self!
- with love and hope for better days to come -

The practice of AWEing people :)

I have always been very fascinated with people who are well spoken, have great vocabulary and are good writers as well.
I wonder..
How do they manage to be so articulate?
How do they practice?
Why are some better then others? ;)

People tell me "oh you speak so good English, your vocabulary is rich and bla bla"
But I tend to disagree with those people.
I mean, I do have a good level of English but I could have so deeper level of speaking and communicating to others.
It's a motivation for me to strive to be better in this language, when I listen to people give speeches, when I hear my friends being all smart and well spoken and when I read challenging books where the words are new to me.

English is becoming my first language, as I speak, read and write in everyday.
And therefore I want to excel in using it.
I want to AWE people when I speak as some people AWE me when they speak :)

I continue to read and write, speak and listen as I go about my days.
My motivation doesn't stop, it never shall stop :)

-with love -

Required experience for the future?

Today I was looking at pictures from my little nephew's baptism and I got tears in my eyes.
I looked at my little brother holding his son while the priest was reading the rituals and I felt so proud and I know that my brother also felt so proud of this little creature that is now part of our family.
It was a moment I would have loved to share with my family but I was there in spirit and thoughts.

These past few days have been quite hard and made me do some thinking about what I am actually doing and how this will contribute to my future, if in anyway it does.
Challenges keep appear from nowhere and I have to tackle them in a best way I can. But why does this have to be so HARD?
There is all the time something bothering me when it comes to this role, the logistical side of it or financial side.
Where is the lesson I'm supposed to take from this experience?
I can not relate this to any of my future steps and that demotivates me.

I feel like i'm banging my head against the wall with no reason at all to do so.

Even though I can not see the learning I'm supposed to take from this - I do believe that there is learning in everything, I just have to look hard enough to find it and actually learn from it.
So these next few days will be on that. Where am I headed where this experience, this learning, this patience will be required?
So I keep fighting this lost cost ( if it is so ) and make sure I'm enjoying as much as I can.
- with love -

You are where you are suppose to be - power of thoughts

People say "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger".
I think it depends on the individual and how willing that person is to learn from challenges and continue stronger after them.
It's so much easier to start feeling sorry for yourself, give up and let go.
I honestly have been feeling like I have nothing more to give, that I should just stand up and give up.
But somehow I dont!

Today I read a friends blog but she's currently living in Malaysia with her son and shares her experience and thoughts online.
It was extremely moving post she made and it kind a hit home with me.
She said that thoughts is the strongest thing we have. We are where we want to be and our thoughts have brought us to where we are. It's just up to us to realize it and make the most of it.

So I took a step back.
I have always wanted to live in France and Paris is an amazing city.
I've been here since september and the environment around me is great.
It's only my role and the challenges facing it that are dragging me down.
Maybe these challenges are exactly what I needed to face in my life at this point.
Maybe I needed to learn how strong I am, how much crap I can take and how I stay strong and still manage to do my job.
Potentially this experience, no matter how bad it is, is preparing me for what is coming in my life, my future challenges in the "real world".

I am where I am supposed to be, in Paris.
Who knows, maybe I'm learning what I'm supposed to be learning.
All I know is that I really want to take a positive outlook on this and make the most out of this. Otherwise I'm just wasting my time.
And I dont like wasting my time!
Today I will be awesome and make the most out of it!

-with love-

Looking for good things in life!

I was listening to this song the other day and there was a sentence that really stood out and I started to think if this is actually true or not.
The song is It's not over with Chris Daughtry.
" I tried to see the good in life but good things in life is hard to find"

I actually do not agree.
I know that sometimes it's hard to look at life with positive attitude, specially when you have had a bad day/week/month.
I have had bad times but there are always things that make me smile - the good things in life pop up when I'm having a hard time.

- Looking at the stars makes me smile. it makes me realize that even though I'm far away from loved ones they are still there, hopefully looking at the same stars and thinking of me.
- Getting random messages from friends and family on facebook, skype or cellphone always makes me smile.
- sunny mornings remind me of how lucky I am of not being in snow and bad weather. that's good.
- the guy who creates the wooden covers for the lights makes me smile and appreciate my walk home in the evening when he lights up his creations!
- Good cup of coffee is a good thing in life
- drinking tea and reading a good book is a pleasure I treasure

So I do not agree with the song. I wanted to make sure that I appreciate the small things in my life and make sure that it's not to hard for me to find them.
That it's not to hard to smile and enjoy my life even though some days are harder then others.
But at least I'm doing amazing stuff and family and friends are never far away anyway.
so today I will smile as I drink my coffee and listen to good music.
that's life for me today!
- with love -

Finding your love - do's and donts?

It's very strange to see how different the genders are in behavior and thoughts when it comes to the matters of love and relationships.
I personally have always struggled with this area over the passed years since I never understand guys and I guess they dont understand me either.

I went to the movies the other day to see a movie called "he's just not that into you" and it was very interesting and self reflecting to see this movie.
Why I say it was self reflecting time for me is very simple.
The way some girls act, think and behave was in a way scary and I started thinking back on if I actually behave this crazy when I like someone. I personally believe I have never been so crazy as in the movie ;)

It's very interesting to see women on the screen behaving like you have thought of behaving, feeling like you have felt and being as insecure as you have been. All just because of a guy that was just not that into you to begin with.
Women love signs and we over interpret things that the guy we like actually does or says. We hope for the best, the reality we want to have and wish that he feels the same way as you do about him.
Most of the time the signs are overrated, he's actions were not so deeply thought through as women attend to think.

My friend says "keep it cool, dont loose it when you interact with the one you like"
Most of the time i think it's true.
But then, one scene in the movie, this girl says something like this:
"I might behave stupid or be embarrassed some of the time, but at least I'm putting myself out there. I'm sure I'm closer to finding someone then you are"
The person she is saying this to is this cool dude who thinks he has everything figured out when it comes to women.
He's keeping his coolness - and where does it leave him?

This keeps me up at night and disturbs me from work ;)
How are you supposed to behave when it comes to the other sex?

I wrote some time ago about the rules in dating.. I guess these behavioral things fall under those rules.
And I dont like rules!
I find it so hard, these dating rules and the fact that I can not just tell a guy I like him. no.. they get scared.
Who decided the relationships between the genders have to be so complicated?
I mean, How am I supposed to find the right one, if I'm never supposed to show any signs I like this dude, he plays it cool and I can not just be straight with him?

How do people end up finding love?
What are they doing that others are doing wrong?
Did they follow the rules of dating?

Man, my head is spinning like crazy trying to think of all these questions I have in my head when it comes to this topic.
And people are all giving me different answers based on their different experiences.
But it's a topic I like to think about, as I'm a big believer of love and hope.

So I guess I will just keep on asking my questions, play it cool but still put myself out there and never give up hope. :)
- with love -