Life is full of questions - I dare to ask them and hope for answers.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Lets get it started - your idea will not go away!

I wanted to take this opportunity and share an experience I have been having for the past week now.

I have been carrying in my head an idea of a project that I thought would be interesting to work on but i always made some excuses for why I would not start it now; Oh it cost so much, I dont have the money now. I dont know how to create a website, I dont have the time etc. But the idea never left my head so I was sure I needed to do something about it.
So few weeks ago I had a skype chat with a friend of mine who is an entrepreneur and has tried many things with good and bad results. Now his business is thriving and growing, so he was a logical choice of a person who could give me some hints.

So I told him what it was that I wanted to do, how I had seen this happening, and I also told him all my excuses for not doing it.
He paused for a minute and then said: You are just making this so much more complicated than it has to be. There are ways to start this project without cost, without having to gain technical knowledge.. but it will always take time. So if you are willing to be committed to the project with your time, I can help you start it up just as soon as next week.

So I took his advice. I planned ahead, I gave it my time and last week my project was launched. I am extremely happy and it has given me enormous amount of motivation.
So I wanted to share this with you, if there is anyone who reads this.

If you have some ideas of what you want to do, projects, business, or personal, but you have always made excuses for it but it just doesnt seem to go away.. I would recommend to find a person to share your idea with and get a second opinion.
Because when you start something that is yours and you give your energy and time in it and you see the results, it is one of the best feelings in the world. And it motivates you in doing more and doing better. So it gives you extra energy that we all can use from time to time.
So no more excuses,
it is time to make stuff happen.
If not now, then when?
and you know you will be upset later on in life if you never gave your ideas a chance.
and who wants to live with regrets? No one!
So go for it, and reap the rewards.

- with love-

Thursday, April 11, 2013

By the power of forgiveness!!

I am learning more and more to forgive people and it feels so great to be such a strong individual, being able to discuss and forgive issues that hurt for a little while but were not done to you out of anger or to hurt you. Most of the time, these hurtful activities or words, are said or done because that is how the other individual communicates, or believes that will give him/her the best results. And it hurts me because I do not agree with this.
But just the fact that I am able to be aware of these differences, be aware that this person did not intend to hurt me, only to convey their feelings. This awareness helps in strengthening a relationship that is built on two different backgrounds, two different cultures, two different ways of thinking and communicating.
And who am I to say that my way is the right way, just because the other way is offensive or hurtful?

Being able to discuss these things, realize where the hurt comes from and how to minimize it, is in my opinion, a key skill in sustaining a relationship.
Everyone keeps saying "being in a relationship is hard". and Yes it is. I just didnt realize how hard it is, and how hard both parties have to work. And I have to be open to the fact that even though I believe I am doing all the work in the relationship, the other person is most likely sitting at home, thinking the exact same thing.

So I am realizing more and more, that forgiveness is a key variable in the communication matrix that should be included in a relationship.
Unfortunately, for most people, this is left out. Because most of us find it hard to be a "bigger" individual and forgive when someone has hurt us. Why should we? the other person was the one doing all the hurting.
But isnt it just as likely that the other partner in this relationship is thinking the same thing when he feels like you have done something to hurt him/her? and I am sure you didnt do it on purpose, so wouldnt you want the benefit of the doubt and explain what you meant and why you did what you did? Most likely yes.
if not, I believe we are not as into the other person and willing to work on the relationship.
Because relationships are hard, and even harder than we could have imagined.

Some things should not be forgiven, and that is when the other person is willingly hurting your, is violent towards you or abusive. These things, I feel, should not be forgiven so dont feel bad that you want to leave a relationship because of these things. You have to make sure you take care of yourself first.
But if the other person is just communicating in a different manner, is behaving in a way that is unfamiliar to you, give that person the benefit of the doubt.

so do some experimenting. When you feel hurt, forgive. and I hope you will feel better about yourself, the other person and the relationship you are having.

-with love-