what is your hard work worth? worth the life you live?

I'm reading a very interesting book, called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.
When starting to read the book I wasnt so sure I liked the writing style. It is so different from what you are used to.
But the further I get into the book, the more I read the more facinating it becomes.

The story is very interesting, but what keeps me reading is the interesting questions the characters are asking themselves and others in the book.. they are asking questions we all ask ourselves but put in a way that the reader doesnt have to think about them if he's not in that place. but if he is, then each question sticks out for you to reflect on.
or at least that is how I'm interpret the book, that is my process of reading it.

At one place in the book, the main character is wondering If life was worth all the work it took to live. what exactly made it worth it?

throughout all the questions, the sentences that struck something while I was reading, this one made me stop, read it over again and mark it.
And I wonder why?

And my thoughts came back to my life and the way I live it. I does take hard work to live life. to be the person you want to be, to experience everything life offers. Its hard to keep up with work, with love, with friends, with family, with the outside world, the inside feelings.
life is hard.. for all of us, no matter how good you have it. You have to work for who you are and who you want to be.

What makes it worth it?
why do we do this work?

My guess, because we dont know anything else.
We have ideas and goals, places to see, people to meet, successes to achieve.
and it takes work.
but when you have them. when people are in your life and you reach your goals you just feel it. the satisfaction of doing the best you could. no matter how hard it was.
but for some it doesnt last.
A new goal, new people, new places replace the previous and life becomes hard work again..

This is just my guess..
made from my interpretations..
from my experiences..

but i do think many people would agree to some point.
Or at least I hope so :)

- with love and hard work -

I share my thoughts, would you like to share yours?

I know this blog is not the most popular one out there, and honestly I'm glad it isnt. I share a lot of personal thoughts and issues and if people randomly find their way here and potentially like what they read, I'm glad.

This blog makes me reflect on me, my situations and my thoughts and actions. I feel it's needed and I hope some people benefit from the questions I ask. maybe it helps someone to start a reflection process, and then the purpose of this blog is fulfilled.

but even though this blog is not popular, I still see I get few views.
And just for the sake of knowing someone is reading it, I would highly appreciate if you (yes you) could take few moments to comment if you like what you read.

If you do not like it you can also share that.

Its not something I need you to do.
It something I would like, being as curious as I am.
Knowing what you, the reader, is thinking.
maybe you can also share your reflections with me.

But I'll keep on posting,
reflecting,
thinking,
asking,
wondering
and writing.

-with love-

Celebration time - come on!

Almost a whole month has past by without me posting something.
the reason is twofold: first I've been busy and have not had the time to process my thoughts into a post.
second, my thoughts have been so scattered around issues and ideas. No red thread like sometimes. So it has been hard to find out what it is I want to share here.
Since I use this platform for venting purposes. :)

so what has been on my mind enought to want to share it here?
the topic on my mind is achievements.
mainly celebration of achievements you have reached.

everone has achievements, big or small, that need to be celebrated.
why this is so close to my heart is because I've been speaking to some people who have done well for themselves but they dont recognize it, they dont celebrate success and achievements. And because of that, both big and small acheivement loses its impact.

we all strive to become someone, do something, and if we do not celebrate what we have, what we have reached how will we keep motivated to reach our main goals?
this is what I want to share.
Celebrate, share and enjoy every success, little or small (because no success is little in itself).

Motivation is important but it doesnt happen by itself. we have to work for it. and this, what I have been talking about, is just one step in keeping motivated for your tasks and goals in life.
so celebrate, reach achievements and keep on being successful.

- with love -

It's the end of the month as we know it!

Its the end of the month, and it's the end of a two years experience. Only few more days.
I've been thinking how strange it feels, when one chapter comes to an end and you are not sure what comes afterwards.
the stress is killing me.. both because I want to end the current chapter on a high, an I am stressed for the unknown.

But I'm glad that I have the ability and opportunity to experience different things, that my life is build in a way that I take on new things, potentially more interesting things, regularly.
I'm not in a life where I'm stuck, I cannot get out and therefore I feel unhappy.

So because of this, I'm glad I'm stressed. It means I want to give it my all.
But stress is not good. I wish I had a different way of expressing these nerves.
but no matter what,
with a new month comes new days, new experiences and the potential to be even happier than I am today!

I hope everyone feels the same about their life.. it really is important to be positive and not be afraid of trying new things.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya'll ;)

- with love -

My role as family and a friend! I take it seriously.

Today was a difficult day for a friend of mine. Technically it was yesterday but as I started to write this post I got lost in previous posts on my blogs and found a video I posted few years back.

It felt right, viewing this video as I pay my respects to my friend and her difficulties. The video reminded me just how important family is to me.

My friend lost her younger brother 5 years ago and today would have been his birthday. It is a day when memories are visited, when tears are allowed to fall, where love is celebrated. It is hard, I'm sure. But my friend is strong.
There is not much I can do to brighten her spirit on a day like today.
except be there and make sure she knows I'm thinking of her and her family, who are all dear to me.

the video I just watched has pictures of my family members who I miss greatly. My grandfather who past away 3 years ago became real again, just for the short moment this video played on.
I miss him.
I miss my family, being so far away.

and friends are my family as well.
So if they are hurting, I am hurting.
therefore I want to be there for my family and friends.
Much as I wish I could help her to be strong, I know that grief will not go away. it is part of the healing process, the process of remembering something precious you had but lost. tears are necessary in that process, smiles are crucial.
And you have to go through the emotions.
I feel it now as I remember my grandfather, with tears in my eyes but smile on my face because the memories are amazing.
I hope my friend feels the same.

And my role in all this, just being there when she needs me, smile with her if she wants, cry with her so she doesnt feel alone.
And she will do the same for me!!

that is family!
-with love-

Imagine it - and live it!

These past few days a lot of things and issues have been crossing my mind. Future paths, education, love, life, family and much more.
I decided to take one of the issues I've been thinking about and discuss it with friends. Getting others perspectives helps me confirm my thoughts or even encourage me to challenge what I believe.
So I did.

The issue is imagination. the reason why this has been on my mind is because every now and then I hear people talk about imagine this and imagine that, and what is their ideal work, ideal partner, ideal life.
I completely agree that you have to have a lively imagination, otherwise how can you build dreams and visions of your life?
How can you figure out different ways to reach your goals?

But as everything, imagination can be too lively.
it can take over and hinder actions as well.

I have a very active imagination. I love imagining new senarios, what my life can look like, what I am capable of and I get what I want and need in life.
A day doesnt go by without me imagining something. and I love it. It motivates me, inspires and drives me.
But does it work the same way for everyone?

Do all people use their imagination like that?
The reason I ask this question is because I know people who dare to use their imagination. they have a very active one.
But they only imagine.
They do not act on it.
They do not use it to drive them, motivate them or inspire.
They get frustrated because their life is not as "good" as they imagine..
They get angry when they do not get what they want/need.

For these people, the imagination is not a positive force.
its hindering them to be what they want, who they are, and strive towards they are capable of.

That's why I wanted to discuss this with people.
What do people think about the value of imagination and the ability to imagine life, love, and career?
the answers are as diverse as people are diverse.

The phrase "its only in your imagination" is usually said with a bad meaning.
But does it have to be?

In my opinion, imagination is just one tool we were given to find our way in this life.
We just have to harnish it, direct it and use it wisely.
I, at least, am trying to.
And I enjoy it when it works.
You should try it as well!

-with love-

I have decided to not be hurting in vain!

Last post I discussed that life isnt fair, that sadness is a part of it but it is up to us as people, to pick us up and make sure we become stronger out of it.
as easy it is to say this/write this, it is hard to actually manage. when we hurt, we stay focused on the pain.. until it is maybe too late to become strong - it has worn us down.

Me personally, I have realized that I've started this process. I try to pick myself up early enough to look the pain in the eyes and say "what happened? why did I react this way? what could I have done differently? what do I want to learn from this?"
of course, I do not do this in all situations, some are just too hurtful to even think about this.

one of the hurtful situations many people go through are breakups.
I personally have not experienced many of those - but those I have were painful.
many people cannot stay friends after the fact, maybe rightly so, but I find it sometimes sad. this person, you maybe spent long time with and experienced good and bad times with, is now just out of your life.
then my question becomes this: "why is this breakup taking place? what did I do that contributed to it? and what would I want to get out of this?"
Again, very easy to write and maybe not so easy to think about when you are hurting.

but because of this.. the guys I have experienced breakup with are today my friends. those that I decided after thinking about it before it was too late, before hurtful words were said and before I completely closed my heart to them, stayed in my life.
And I'm so grateful for it.

Those I want to keep in my life have shared some intimate moments, I have shared my feelings and opened my heart.
these people I dont want to lose.
be they ex boyfriends or friends.

if the learning from the hard times proves I want you in my life, I'll do my best to keep you there.
But it takes effort to reflect, to think what will I learn when I'm hurting.
I know that..
but I'm also aware of that I have to try.
I want to try.
because going through the hurt and pain and not learn what I can from it,
feels like having gone through it all in vain, and that for me is even worse.

SO I hope, as you may read over this.. some of it makes sense.
that you believe you can learn more from life that you think.
You just have to decide to do so.
it's not easy,
but doable!

-with love-