2014 - a year of relationship, respect and kindness!

There are only few hours until the New Year, 2014, begins with fireworks and celebrations and I have been surfing my facebook site and reading some 2013 summaries from friends and family. It is an interesting read. We have all had times of joy and smiles with family and friends. We have learnt something new, met new people (both good and not so good). We have lost someone, had our hearts broken and cried on someone’s shoulder. 

Why am I mentioning all this? I am mentioning this because we have all gone through the same things, although each person experiences it in a different way and each situation is different from the next. We all have sadness in our lives, we all have joy. We have family and friends we care for and we wish them all the best. 

But sometimes it feels like we think that no one understands what we are going through, that no one has it as bad as you have it. And then you take your hurt or frustrations out on others, who might have had just as bad day as you have.

So my New Year’s resolution is to try to be kind to others and treat them in the same manner as I would like to be treated, with respect and kindness. My wish is that we all start doing this because we all need help someday and that requires relationships which will not be built with frustrations and greed. The important relationships are built with trust, respect and openness.

Another new years resolution I have for myself is to be more courageous. I know what I want and I just need to go for it. Nothing will be handed to me on a silver platter. But sometimes I just feel a bit scared to show others what I can do, because what if they don’t think I am good enough? Then I have failed! But I want to take a different approach, I want to look at is as a success.  At least I might get some feedback and support which I would not get if I do not try.

So as I write this I send my wishes into the universe and I hope it reaches every one of you. And I wish you a great 2014 with great adventures and smiles and where relationships, kindness and respect will play a key role. I know that will play a big role in my life.  

Let the new year begin!

An Extraordinary experience is waiting - are you ready to take it?

It has been a while since I shared something here. But I havent had the need for sharing, there hasnt been thought stuck in my head or questions I need to answer or ask.
But I got this need now. So I am back with one more post.

I had the great experience to travel half around the world to attend a conference about the topic I want to work with in my career life. I spent all my savings, made plans and handed in an article which was published. When I came there I met great people, motivated and intelligent people working in the field I want to work in, either in business, NGO's or as academics. It was inspiring and challenging.
I loved it.

It was my first time attending one of these types of conferences, and I was so nervous when it was my turn to  speak, share my article and my thoughts around it and my view point about the topic. I havent been this stressed in a LONG time.
But what a rewarding experience. People enjoyed my thoughts and agreed in many cases. I got great feedback on my performance and I won the best paper for the research track. WHAT A START!
I came home, having met old friends, having gained new ones, and have some more and deeper experience in the field I am trying to build my career in. I cannot ask for anything more.

So why am I sharing this with you now?

Because I believe we do not dare enough. I think we are too comfortable in our bubble so we do not search for or allow great opportunities to pop up. With taking chances comes great results and I think many of us are missing out on these results, these experiences to make us better because we have it so nice in our daily lives.
So I wanted to share this, hoping that it might ignite some interest to go out and search for your opportunities, be in attending conferences, meeting valuable people, write articles, create a video, whatever it is that gets to to a better place in your life ... GO FOR IT!
What have you got to lose?
NOTHING!!
Money comes back (in most cases)
pride can be hurt but you'll get over it

I hope more of us start to be brave. As the Metal Singer Blaze Bayley sang so great - FORTUNE FAVORS THE BRAVE!
Lets reach our extraordinary experiences!

- with love- 

Value driven actions - I am worth it :)

Life takes unexpected turns, in a spur of a moment the path you are on might not feel right, might offer many twists and turns and uncertainty ahead.

But these changes dont happen by themselves. As people we stand in front of choices, we take decisions, we walk the directions we believe to give us something.

I've talked about the idea of fighting for the people who you want to have in your life. I realized when I wrote it, that it might be a wishful thinking.. being so couragous to contact, to reach out, to open up to strangers, even if they leave a mark on you which you cant explain.
But if you do take the chance, it just might bring your life to unexpected turns, for the better.

I've always believed I'm capable of anything. And I am.
But if I think something is wishful thinking, not really gonna happen but a nice idea, then I'm never gonna be able to do this, get what I want, to be with the person I want to be.
I'm then gonna settle on something that I might see more "reachable".
Isnt that sad?

few posts ago I wrote about a quote I saw in a book I was reading, "what is your life worth, is it worth the life you are living".
And its a strange sentence but it makes so much sense.
How much to I value my life?
Do my actions and ideas reflect that value?
If I have wishful thinking but dont think I can reach it, am I then not undervalue my life?

My life today is great, because people were not afraid to reach out, to open up, to stop believing in wishful thinking and start believing in what they are worth. And the good thing that came out of this is what they believe fits the value of their lives.
It might not make any sense to you..
but this makes so much sense to me.

As I sit here and write this, I'm realizing more how I need to start valuing my life and thinking that my actions should reflect on how much I do value it, and that I'm worth it.
I hope you do too.

-with love-

When the person fits dont let him/her slip away.

It is not that often that I meet a person that I really connect with, I find funny and smart and when I leave I wanna meet that person soon again.
No it is not that often that people leave such a strong impression on me.

So when that happens, how hard should I fight to make sure these people stay in my life?
I work hard to make sure my friends, the ones that I do know mean a lot to me, stay in my life.
but when it is a new person, someone you might not really know but you wanna get to know, someone you have no connection to exept for the connection made when you met, someone who made you feel something, when does that person deserve some fight to stay in my life as well?

Earlier this year I wrote a post about having nothing to lose. And in this sense I do not have anything to lose. Building up a new connection can be hard, can be scary and can make you shy. But you're only trying to connect to another person.
If you dont step on anyones toes to bridge the gap, then you do not have anything to lose, but everything to gain.

then why am I so shy about it?
Why am I so timid and scared of showing others that I like someone?
do others really care?
I mean, do they care that you are reaching out to someone.. do people not just admire others that know what they want and try to reach out to someone they like?
Oh I dont know.. but something about this process is making my extremely shy, but I do not want to give up.
It is making my questioning myself, but I do not want to give up.

When a person is really special.. the process of finding him/her might be the best learning experience you can go throught.
I'm at least going to try to think about it that way.
and keep on reaching out, finding special people, people that make me feel special as well.

- with love -

It's the end of the month as we know it!

Its the end of the month, and it's the end of a two years experience. Only few more days.
I've been thinking how strange it feels, when one chapter comes to an end and you are not sure what comes afterwards.
the stress is killing me.. both because I want to end the current chapter on a high, an I am stressed for the unknown.

But I'm glad that I have the ability and opportunity to experience different things, that my life is build in a way that I take on new things, potentially more interesting things, regularly.
I'm not in a life where I'm stuck, I cannot get out and therefore I feel unhappy.

So because of this, I'm glad I'm stressed. It means I want to give it my all.
But stress is not good. I wish I had a different way of expressing these nerves.
but no matter what,
with a new month comes new days, new experiences and the potential to be even happier than I am today!

I hope everyone feels the same about their life.. it really is important to be positive and not be afraid of trying new things.
I'll keep my fingers crossed for ya'll ;)

- with love -

I have decided to not be hurting in vain!

Last post I discussed that life isnt fair, that sadness is a part of it but it is up to us as people, to pick us up and make sure we become stronger out of it.
as easy it is to say this/write this, it is hard to actually manage. when we hurt, we stay focused on the pain.. until it is maybe too late to become strong - it has worn us down.

Me personally, I have realized that I've started this process. I try to pick myself up early enough to look the pain in the eyes and say "what happened? why did I react this way? what could I have done differently? what do I want to learn from this?"
of course, I do not do this in all situations, some are just too hurtful to even think about this.

one of the hurtful situations many people go through are breakups.
I personally have not experienced many of those - but those I have were painful.
many people cannot stay friends after the fact, maybe rightly so, but I find it sometimes sad. this person, you maybe spent long time with and experienced good and bad times with, is now just out of your life.
then my question becomes this: "why is this breakup taking place? what did I do that contributed to it? and what would I want to get out of this?"
Again, very easy to write and maybe not so easy to think about when you are hurting.

but because of this.. the guys I have experienced breakup with are today my friends. those that I decided after thinking about it before it was too late, before hurtful words were said and before I completely closed my heart to them, stayed in my life.
And I'm so grateful for it.

Those I want to keep in my life have shared some intimate moments, I have shared my feelings and opened my heart.
these people I dont want to lose.
be they ex boyfriends or friends.

if the learning from the hard times proves I want you in my life, I'll do my best to keep you there.
But it takes effort to reflect, to think what will I learn when I'm hurting.
I know that..
but I'm also aware of that I have to try.
I want to try.
because going through the hurt and pain and not learn what I can from it,
feels like having gone through it all in vain, and that for me is even worse.

SO I hope, as you may read over this.. some of it makes sense.
that you believe you can learn more from life that you think.
You just have to decide to do so.
it's not easy,
but doable!

-with love-

Recent thoughts being challenged to gain the most from life!

I had a very interesting converstation today that made me rethink my thoughts I posted here yesterday about taking chances and not being afraid of losing out.
my cousin wanted to know if I would risk altering a great memory by reaching out to something that might not even be there in the first place.
and it's a valid question.

when you meet people, they leave impressions on you and then you go your seperate ways, you are left behind with the memories of laughter, jokes, kisses and fun.
if you reach out to that person, maybe not sure what will come out of it, those memories might lose its charm, they might change.
and why would they change?
Well, my thought is that, if that person does not answer, then your thoughts are colored with sadness.
if that person does answer but with negative feedback, your thoughts are colored with anger.
if that person does answer and with possitive feedback, your thoughts might drift away from the already created memories to hoping for future memories (again something that might not even happen)

So it is a fair question to ask someone who, like me, doesnt want to lose people from my life.
but is it always worth it, to reach out?
now, that's a topic I would love to discuss with someone out there.
because I'm honestly not sure.
Of course, memories are great, they create the life I lead and impact the path I take.
but if there is a change for something more, bigger impact, more stable impact.. wouldnt I want to take that chance?
I sit and I wonder, does it always pay of to take chances - is there something to lose but I just didnt realize it?

I guess this topic will need some more reflection on by part.
I want to make sure I get the best out of life - be that great memories, new people as friends and changing paths along the way.
I just need to think this through!

-with love-

By the power of gray skull - give me courage!

What makes people have courage?
both courage to jump out of planes, to start their own business and to show that special someone they're interested.. I find that admirable.

I have always believed that I'm a brave person. I dare to dream, I dare to start new adventures but when it comes to one area.. relationships with people, I can be so timid. I lose my strength and i question myself.

But recent events have shown me that I dont have to be afraid of what I have to offer.
Not everyone will like it. Fair enough. not everyone are for me either. So I shouldnt let that take me down.
So I have decided I'm not gonna be too afraid any longer. It's not going to happen over night but I can all ready feel a bit of a difference in they way I present myself to others.

Another thing I want to do is to have the courage to not play any games.
if I like someone, I'll tell him that.
If he doesnt appreciate that I will have the courage to walk away but feeling good about the fact that at least I tried.
I cant do any more than that.
So this new approach to future relationships hopefully will prove to be good.
but if not, at least I learn from the experience.

-with love-