2014 - a year of relationship, respect and kindness!

There are only few hours until the New Year, 2014, begins with fireworks and celebrations and I have been surfing my facebook site and reading some 2013 summaries from friends and family. It is an interesting read. We have all had times of joy and smiles with family and friends. We have learnt something new, met new people (both good and not so good). We have lost someone, had our hearts broken and cried on someone’s shoulder. 

Why am I mentioning all this? I am mentioning this because we have all gone through the same things, although each person experiences it in a different way and each situation is different from the next. We all have sadness in our lives, we all have joy. We have family and friends we care for and we wish them all the best. 

But sometimes it feels like we think that no one understands what we are going through, that no one has it as bad as you have it. And then you take your hurt or frustrations out on others, who might have had just as bad day as you have.

So my New Year’s resolution is to try to be kind to others and treat them in the same manner as I would like to be treated, with respect and kindness. My wish is that we all start doing this because we all need help someday and that requires relationships which will not be built with frustrations and greed. The important relationships are built with trust, respect and openness.

Another new years resolution I have for myself is to be more courageous. I know what I want and I just need to go for it. Nothing will be handed to me on a silver platter. But sometimes I just feel a bit scared to show others what I can do, because what if they don’t think I am good enough? Then I have failed! But I want to take a different approach, I want to look at is as a success.  At least I might get some feedback and support which I would not get if I do not try.

So as I write this I send my wishes into the universe and I hope it reaches every one of you. And I wish you a great 2014 with great adventures and smiles and where relationships, kindness and respect will play a key role. I know that will play a big role in my life.  

Let the new year begin!

.. and the fighting continues!

I wonder sometimes, why things in life that mean something to you, usually do not come without a fight.
Not only for me, but for others as well. It is like everyone has to go through some pains and challenges before they can be or have what they want.

Today I got a rejection e-mail for a position I really wanted. I have been waiting for that position for over 2 years and this time I was so close, I could almost feel it. But then it got snatched away.
I fought for this position. I poured my heart and soul into the preparation and I had support from others in doing so. I really wanted this position.
And when I just got the rejection letter my heart broke.
It was literally like my hard work, my ideas, my passion was worthless.
And that hurts.
For 2 years I have been fighting for this.
and yet another rejection.

So I wonder.
Am I fighting for the wrong thing?
If things really are so hard to have, are they really what is best for us?
Should we just try to get something that comes easily, without all these heartaches, without all the hard work and sweat and tears?
Sometimes I think so. Then I can move on with my life, and not feel like a failure with no achievements or success.
And we all need to feel we are achieving something, feel we are worth something. Otherwise life becomes dark. And when it is dark, it is hard to get out to the light again.

But the more I think of this, the more I feel like I would just be cheating myself. This fight has been part of me for the past 2 years because I know this position is what I want, its what I will be great at and I have enjoyed the process of the preparation.
And although I have not achieved what I wanted, I still do not feel like a failure (in general). And I think that is the main point.

So my learning from this heartbreak today is that if I, after having thought this through, would not feel like this is something that I feel like I should pursue, then I should give up. Because it wouldnt really be giving up. It would be learning more about myself and not focus on something I feel like would not give me pleasure and satisfaction. But because, the more I think of this, the more I want it, then I cannot stop now. THAT would be giving up!
So giving up is not always just letting things go.
Giving up is when you just stop reaching for your dreams, stop fighting even though that is what you want.
But realizing that this fight does not give you want you really need, then that is not giving up. That is being true to yourself and realize that things change over time and you change over time. So make sure you are fighting for what you want and need, your current dreams and not dreams you had 4 years ago (unless it still is the same dream).

I hope this makes sense to someone and will be a learning point.
It sure was for me
-with love-

Bring on the new year!

Today is the last day of the year 2012, a year that was full of smiles, love and laughter, tears, frustrations and irritations. But what stands out from all the events of the year, my interactions with people and the learning i take from the year, is my confirmation of a strong family and friends, my ability to love again and my path re-established. That is the most important things that happen for me this  year, and that is amazing.

As the new year enters, I am confident it will be full of love, excitement, and joyful events as well as challenging aspects and hard times. Then it comes handy to have a strong family and a supportive boyfriend.

I do not want to spend too much time writing here, I want to head on out and spend time with my family and celebrate with them this new year and honor those who have left us and love those who are with us.
I wish for everyone, a year full of love and joy, and success in the path that you have chosen!
I wish you cherish your family, stay loyal to your friends and they stay loyal to you.
I wish you to have courage to follow through with your dreams, hopes and love.
I wish you to reach your goals and your aspirations.
I wish for challenges you will overcome, alone or with help of friends and/or family.

I wish this as well for me, as I enter the new year full of unexpected adventures.
I know I will make the most of them with love, honesty and hard work.
Bring it on!!

-with love-

Luck of the dragon - is this your year?

Its the end of the month, the first month of this new year - the year of the dragon!
the year of the dragon is supposed to be a lucky year, according to what I hear. Why that is, I'm not sure. But I like it.
So far, this year has been awesome. is it because of the dragon spirit, I'm not sure either. But it is good none the less.

I believe luck is what you make of it. and with the attitude that this year will be great, it will be your lucky year.. then the chances of that coming true increase enormously.
I want to believe that at least.

So why do I want to believe this?
Well, I believe that if we believe something, we think about it regularly the more likely we are to act accordingly and take decisions that lead us to that direction. Maybe even without knowing that we are doing so.
By believing we are taking a bit more control over our lives, and what happens in them.
By believing, in whatever it is - luck of a dragon year or whatever - the mind starts to visualize where it wants to go, what it is that he believes in and how to get there.

For the people who feel like their lives are not going where they want it to be, I question if they actually know where they want it to be, do they believe that they can get there and do they believe that they are worth getting there?
Because if not, in my opinion, the mind has not visualize it enough to take decisions guided by that vision.

Life is hard.
We all know that from time to time.
But if we believe in something, we really want it, then life can get just a little bit better as we work our way towards it.
Or at least that is my opinion.

Just wanted to share this, just a small thought that needs even more reflection and discussion :)

- with love -

Recent thoughts being challenged to gain the most from life!

I had a very interesting converstation today that made me rethink my thoughts I posted here yesterday about taking chances and not being afraid of losing out.
my cousin wanted to know if I would risk altering a great memory by reaching out to something that might not even be there in the first place.
and it's a valid question.

when you meet people, they leave impressions on you and then you go your seperate ways, you are left behind with the memories of laughter, jokes, kisses and fun.
if you reach out to that person, maybe not sure what will come out of it, those memories might lose its charm, they might change.
and why would they change?
Well, my thought is that, if that person does not answer, then your thoughts are colored with sadness.
if that person does answer but with negative feedback, your thoughts are colored with anger.
if that person does answer and with possitive feedback, your thoughts might drift away from the already created memories to hoping for future memories (again something that might not even happen)

So it is a fair question to ask someone who, like me, doesnt want to lose people from my life.
but is it always worth it, to reach out?
now, that's a topic I would love to discuss with someone out there.
because I'm honestly not sure.
Of course, memories are great, they create the life I lead and impact the path I take.
but if there is a change for something more, bigger impact, more stable impact.. wouldnt I want to take that chance?
I sit and I wonder, does it always pay of to take chances - is there something to lose but I just didnt realize it?

I guess this topic will need some more reflection on by part.
I want to make sure I get the best out of life - be that great memories, new people as friends and changing paths along the way.
I just need to think this through!

-with love-

By the power of gray skull - give me courage!

What makes people have courage?
both courage to jump out of planes, to start their own business and to show that special someone they're interested.. I find that admirable.

I have always believed that I'm a brave person. I dare to dream, I dare to start new adventures but when it comes to one area.. relationships with people, I can be so timid. I lose my strength and i question myself.

But recent events have shown me that I dont have to be afraid of what I have to offer.
Not everyone will like it. Fair enough. not everyone are for me either. So I shouldnt let that take me down.
So I have decided I'm not gonna be too afraid any longer. It's not going to happen over night but I can all ready feel a bit of a difference in they way I present myself to others.

Another thing I want to do is to have the courage to not play any games.
if I like someone, I'll tell him that.
If he doesnt appreciate that I will have the courage to walk away but feeling good about the fact that at least I tried.
I cant do any more than that.
So this new approach to future relationships hopefully will prove to be good.
but if not, at least I learn from the experience.

-with love-

AHA moment brought to me by the sun!

The other day I was walking, the sun was shining and I had great music playing on my iPod and I started thinking a bit about what I have been writing here. And I realized that I have been painting a very negative picture.. but not on purpose. It's just because when I feel down I start to ask questions and it is from there I believe I'm learning the most.

But as I was thinking about this I was basking in the sun and I felt a smile coming... i understood that when I'm happy, satisfied and/or excited I learn different things about myself, my friends and my capabilities.
this sunny day I felt empowered, I felt strong and I felt happy about me.

So, this short blogpost will be about this..
I learn from my challenges in life, and for that I'm so thankful. Without growth and learning I will not be where I am today.
But I realized that where I am today and who I am today makes me happy.
I'm proud and I'm excited about the future..
and I learned that just by smiling and enjoying myself when the conditions allowed me to do so..
and for that I'm thankful as well.
I grow through challenges and happiness.
I can feel it!

- with love -

Personal growth from bad decisions - will I ever learn?

It's so interesting to realize how you are changing as a person, you feel the changes happening and people are noticing and appreciating them as well.
I feel I'm going through this changes these past few weeks and I'm glad that this transformation is happening.
I was happy with who I was as a person but I also understood that there is room for improvements and areas of knowledge I need to dive in to become even closer to the individual I want to be and live the values I have identified for me.

But what I find even more interesting is the reasons you go through these changes, the events, people and places that drive this transformation into action.
Everyone has different reasons, different aspirations and different AHA moments that drives their changes.
But as long as we all know what it is that can have these impacts on us, we are able to tap into them and actually become the reflection of what we believe and live accordingly to that image. Someone we can be even prouder of being.

I have gone through so many transformational period just in the past 4 weeks.
people in my life are challenging me in a good way, I'm redifining what love, passion, happiness and strength means to me and I'm challening my thoughts on how I can become happy.
I am having great discussions with people where I have to argue for my point of view and I'm learning more about myself in that process.

However, unfortunatly there comes bad actions among those good ones that take your development back few steps.
I have also been through this, something that really made me question myself as a person. but I have to live with it, what's done is done and now I have to learn from it as well to make sure it doesnt define who I am. I will still become the person I believe I can be.
So this negative action will most likely drive me even more towards my development.
but I hope I will not have to go through more of these negative ones on my path.. but if that happens, I sure hope I'm strong enough of a person to learn from it and make sure it doesnt define who I am.

I hope that drive will define who I am instead!
-with love-

happiness being left in the past

The other day I was sitting with the sun shining on my face and listening to a song called "you could be happy" by Snow patrol.
What came to my mind at the time is that I might not allow myself to embrace happiness as much as I could. In previous post I was talking about expectations and how they are usually built on sand but not carved in stone and based on sound reasons. And that is why they break down easily.
That for me, is the story of my search for happiness.. I build my hopes and happiness on the sand I have around me, hoping for the stable future.

But one's mind is hard to change when it has decided something. I believe that's also why my reasons are not solid. Because I'm stuck in the past, not allowing my head and heart to move on.
Dont get me wrong.. whenever I think more about this, I belive I allow myself to depart more and more from the past but it's a long and tiresome process.

Maybe this is all about not allowing me to embrace who I am and what I have to offer to new people in my life?
Or scared that the happiness and love once had will never return, and therefore I hold on?
But it wont come back, not the same love and happiness. Potentially, if I allow it, it will be even better.
But I feel I'm not allowing this to happen - at least not as fast as it could be.
I wonder!