the book that should be open - people!

I sometimes find myself wonder why it can be so challenging to read people, understand their motives and therefore prevent being hurt later on in the communications and/or relationship.
I do believe I'm a bit naive when it comes to this matter, but I also want to believe that I'm learning.. but sometimes it doesnt really look and feel like I am.

Being a woman, I'm aware that females often overinterpret behaviors, words and signs. I'm fully aware of that. But somehow, when the signs are just SO DAMN clear but the behaviour doesnt support them I get confused. I doubt and wonder.
Its hard enough to get to know people without all these games, rules, lies, bluffs and whatnot. I'm just not able to play at the same level as some people do.
And because of that I suffer, I misread people and I feel I've been let on and then let down.

I'm fully aware that I want to believe the best in people but I also have had the experience that it's hard to see or get to know people that well that they are willing to show you their best.
they, instead, have this mask on, that is attached with behaviour that is built on defense and blocking. Although they deep down might want to share, open up and the signs are there - it's just hard to break old habits, to unmask and stand there vulnerable.
But I sometimes feel I'm the only one that tries to take her mask of ( I dont intend to say I'm the only one without a mask - I know that's not true ).

I just want to be able to read people, understand their behaviours and live my life without being hurt, being let down and walked all over.
I hope, I sure do, that it comes with time and practice, experience and wisdom.
- with love -

So you think you can dance????

I had a very intersting conversation with a friend the other day.. and it just came to me again today as this day has been a little more complicated than days before.
the conversation was about living life as it was a dance. it brings twists and turns, backsteps, front steps, jumps and twirls. And when you dance with others it brings you more joy than you could have imagine.

However, just like dancing, you need to practice. Otherwise you will not be able to dance with others, you stay off balance and your rythm is not right.

Life is like that. what we do now, this hard, complicated, confused time of our life is our practice. We are getting ready to do the dance we so desperatly want to dance sooner rather than later.
today is a hard day of practice. I'm realizing that I allow people to dance with me that have no intention to help me grow as a dancer, no intention to stay with me the whole practice and be my partner in crime while dancing.. and when I find out I become sad. I start to doubt myself. I feel little.
So even though I've been pracicing for years now and my dance is slowly coming together.. I find myself wondering if Im pracicing the wrong dance.

How can I be sure Im supposed to be dancing a salsa and not a wals?
these are just few thoughts Im having...
-with love and dance-

with life full of teachers

Although I have not been writing this passed month it's not because of lack of topics, low energy or few thoughts in my head.. on the contrary.. there has just been lack of time to put them into words and post them here.

I love learning from others, I seek out people, I ask questions, I enjoy being inspired by amazing people. and often I know where to look for answers to my questions, who to speak to to become inspired, what to do to learn.
But sometimes my AHA moments, those moments when I'm learning something unexpected, something I feel so important, come when I least expect them to arrive - from people I did not expect to be so insightful. and the beauty of it, they're not even trying to be, they just are at this moment. what they are saying hits home and my AHA moment arrives.

This happened to me this summer when two people, one very close to me and one who used to be very close to me, just in a converstation said something that left a foodprint in my mind, hit a nerve, something about this random conversation had a hidden message for me... without them knowing it.
this made me think and reflect on myself, my behaviour and my ideas about myself.
it was so interesting.

And the most interesting part was that these people, these unexpected "teachers" dont know it.
This summer gave me some material to reflect on myself but with this post I wanted to remind people that we can learn from everyone - we all have insights, experiences, feelings that we can share, inspire with and also teach.
Dont judge the book by it's cover if you really want to learn, reflect, grow.
allow your mind to be open to the "magic words" from all around. Not just from those directions you expect them to arrive from.
You will be amazed by the insight into peoples life and the AHA moments that insight can and will bring.
allow yourself to learn from everyone..
and people will be able to learn from you as well.

I'm facinated, I'm ready to learn
- with love -