Life is full of questions - I dare to ask them and hope for answers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Balance in emotions lead to balance in work/life situations?

Today should be the last day of February but lucky me, there is one extra day this year. I had planned to be more active in writing here, to make sure I share my thoughts and hopefully learn more from sharing them and potentially gain some insight from others.

February has not been so kind to me in this sense.. or in any other aspect. When I look back on February I feel ashamed of myself and the lack of motivation and energy I‘ve been demonstrating. Even though I‘m feeling physically better... there has been something on my soul, or what I can say, that makes me waste my days in horrible ways with no productivity at all.

That is just not me.

But maybe this one month of de-motivation was what I needed? I hope so.. Because when I feel ashamed of myself I expect to perform better and be more organized and reach my potentials. I can NOT have one more month of doing absolutely nothing.
But anyways, my lack of motivation was not going to be my main subject for this post. But rather state of mind – which motivation belongs to – and what affects this state of mind and how it affects your daily life.

There have been many things happening this month.. sad, hurtful, joyful moments have come and gone. I‘ve been happy one minute and then cried the next. I‘ve rekindled friendship, I‘ve experienced a crush, I‘ve had an argument and I‘ve felt hurt by people I care about. when I look back on February I‘m glad about my personal life but sad about my professional life.

So my main question for this post is „how to make a balance between personal and professional feelings and motivation?“

I read somewhere that if you are happy at home you take that attitude and state of mind to your work. And vice versa. And usually that has been my case.

But my state of mind this month has been so up and down, so back and forth, so unclear and so focused that I cannot seem to find any balance. Or at least not in the beginning of the month. Now, as I reflect on my actions this month and my awareness of my mindset, my willingness to alter that mindset have started to sink in.. and I‘m feeling smile come over more as well as I feel little things are creating energy within me. Something that my mindset earlier this month would not allow.

But what happened?

My personal belief is that when your feelings are so messed up you find it hard to direct any motivation from them in the areas where the motivation and energy is needed. So despite the fact that generally I feel happy personally, the mix of emotions that led to that happiness created a hinder for my motivation on my professional site. Without knowing it I blamed boredom and unappealing projects for the lack of motivation, when deep down it was me that was failing myself.

Why the positive change?

I started thinking more, being critical about my behaviour and that led to this shame I feel, this understanding that this messiness is not me. I start to appreciate the small things again. The sun, the birds, the art I see, the different environments I encounter and the people who really treat me nice. I was too focused on one thing and one thing only. And balance does not come from that. My state of mind was challenged and I have started to let go.. and make sure others are let in. My mindset has altered and I feel the smile come back.

So my last thoughts as I allow February to pass with its heart ache, its tears, its smiles and its love, is that I have to be careful of what creates my balance, and what mindset I have to be in to allow this to happen.

I have to be open-minded as the small things, the unexpected things, the surroundings, are the main contribution to my happiness and energy. So with the right mindset and happy feelings, I feel much more ready to enter March and tackle it with more productivity than I have shown in the passing month.

I hope this post made any sense to you – as I write it, I start making more sense of it myself.

-with love-