Life is full of questions - I dare to ask them and hope for answers.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

back to the past that I cant let go of.

I was watching a tv show called The Forgotten and in the end there was a talk that really struck me and made me think. "I wanted to go back. But you cant go back, people change.[...]Places can be magic, and certain times in your life can be magic too. But when they go, you have to let them go. I know that know. you still take them with you."

I have talked about this before.. letting people/things go when you should, even though it's hard for you. These sentences here above are true. those time might have been magical but magic doesnt last forever. nothing really does. So in order to keep the image of magic and smiles alive - you have to let it go before it becomes worse. Then you only will remember those bad times, where magic doesnt exist.

But how do you "allow" people to leave your heart, your mind, your thoughts?
How can you do this without falling apart?

I believe there are magical moments I try to relive, keep close to me, even though the time has past and the people dont share the same feelings as back then. But I find it so hard to let go of this magical feeling, the smiles, the happiness it brought me.
But I know i have to.
And sometimes I think I have already let go... but then I realize I'm not even close.
What makes me hold on when I should let go?

So many questions with no possible answers just floating around.
I hope to think more about this and even come to some conclusion... If I do, I will share it here!

-with love-

Friday, November 26, 2010

thinking few steps ahead!

I have been thinking more and more about my next steps, my future and where I see myself in that context.
Part of that picture is having a family ( hopefully )even though my current situation does not support that dream, being single and all. Even so, this is a big part of my future as I see it.
fair enough that I'm having these dreams, but the thoughts that come after that are the ones that really cought my attention.

a little background is needed before I explain my thoughts, or at least I wanna share.

I believe I grew up to be a good person, I'm well raised ( I think so ), I'm resectful and I have great relationship with my parents, my brother, my grandparents and other family member. of course I've been rebellious but nothing that is not normal for teenagers growing up. I believe this about my brother as well, he's a great person, hard working, caring and honest.
These traits, I stongly believe, are there due to our upbringing - that is, the way my parents raised us.

back to what I've been thinking about when this family picture of the future comes to mind.

I'm very nervous that I will not be able to do as good job as I believe my parents have done. that scares me.
I know that it will come when the time is right but I believe I have big shoes to fill and that scares me as well.
I want a great relationship with my children, I want them to respect others and I want them to love life.
It's not time for me yet to think about this, but I still do.
I wanna be prepared - as I'm scared of this role, this role that I also can not wait to take on with a great partner ( hopefully I'll get there ).

So my question is just simple - what makes people great parents?
Yeah, just wondering like always!

- with love -