I have decided to not be hurting in vain!

Last post I discussed that life isnt fair, that sadness is a part of it but it is up to us as people, to pick us up and make sure we become stronger out of it.
as easy it is to say this/write this, it is hard to actually manage. when we hurt, we stay focused on the pain.. until it is maybe too late to become strong - it has worn us down.

Me personally, I have realized that I've started this process. I try to pick myself up early enough to look the pain in the eyes and say "what happened? why did I react this way? what could I have done differently? what do I want to learn from this?"
of course, I do not do this in all situations, some are just too hurtful to even think about this.

one of the hurtful situations many people go through are breakups.
I personally have not experienced many of those - but those I have were painful.
many people cannot stay friends after the fact, maybe rightly so, but I find it sometimes sad. this person, you maybe spent long time with and experienced good and bad times with, is now just out of your life.
then my question becomes this: "why is this breakup taking place? what did I do that contributed to it? and what would I want to get out of this?"
Again, very easy to write and maybe not so easy to think about when you are hurting.

but because of this.. the guys I have experienced breakup with are today my friends. those that I decided after thinking about it before it was too late, before hurtful words were said and before I completely closed my heart to them, stayed in my life.
And I'm so grateful for it.

Those I want to keep in my life have shared some intimate moments, I have shared my feelings and opened my heart.
these people I dont want to lose.
be they ex boyfriends or friends.

if the learning from the hard times proves I want you in my life, I'll do my best to keep you there.
But it takes effort to reflect, to think what will I learn when I'm hurting.
I know that..
but I'm also aware of that I have to try.
I want to try.
because going through the hurt and pain and not learn what I can from it,
feels like having gone through it all in vain, and that for me is even worse.

SO I hope, as you may read over this.. some of it makes sense.
that you believe you can learn more from life that you think.
You just have to decide to do so.
it's not easy,
but doable!

-with love-

Good vs. Sad: what will be your learning from the pain?

No one ever said that life was fair so I try never to take things for granted and work for what I want, hang out with friends, talk everyday with my family and hang on to things that make me smile.

Life has good things, bad things, great things, sad things and everything in between to offer. Well, its not so much as offering but forcing.
and as people, we prefer, of course, the great happy things.
but when sad things happen, it is then when you understand your strength as a person, your relationship with your family and friends, and you learn to appreciate the good things in life again.
but somehow, when time passes, we are likely to forget what we learnt from the event, our strength, our hopes, our valuable relationships and only focus on the hurt that followed.
and even though it is said, that time heals all wounds.. its not completely true.
some wounds are so deep.

so for me, even though I face sad and hurtful events in my life, I try to support my family, I try to heal the relationships that I have, and I try not to forget.
I cry.
I cry even more.
and then, as time passes.. I look back at the sad events in life and try not to think so much about the hurt they caused, but the strength that I showed. I think about the friendships that I have to tend to, my relationship with family that I have to keep strong and loving.
I know it might be strange to read this,
but the only hope I have for writing this post is that people understand that dont think only about Good vs. Sad things..
but think more about how do I react with certain events, and what do I have to learn from them. Especially the sad ones, as we might tend to think only about the hurt they brought (which I cannot say, "let go"). but try to take it one step further.

Life isnt fair,
It is full of hurt, sadness, pain and cries.
But it is also full of broken relationships, friends that are around the corner and strength waiting to be used.
and my experience is that, these things need nurturing, and usually the thought starts when you're hurting.
so learn from it, dont allow it to break you.
be strong.. that is the time to be so.
and you'll be able to look back with sadness and hurt but still understand that you did whatever you could to come out of it a better person, a person who's family relies on, depends on and looks up to.

Isnt that something we all want and strive for?

I want to be someone people feel they can trust, talk to, lean on, and cry (or smile)with.
but I have to learn to be that person.
and I believe I'm on that learning path.
what about you?

- with love -