I wonder sometimes, why things in life that mean something to you, usually do not come without a fight.
Not only for me, but for others as well. It is like everyone has to go through some pains and challenges before they can be or have what they want.
Today I got a rejection e-mail for a position I really wanted. I have been waiting for that position for over 2 years and this time I was so close, I could almost feel it. But then it got snatched away.
I fought for this position. I poured my heart and soul into the preparation and I had support from others in doing so. I really wanted this position.
And when I just got the rejection letter my heart broke.
It was literally like my hard work, my ideas, my passion was worthless.
And that hurts.
For 2 years I have been fighting for this.
and yet another rejection.
So I wonder.
Am I fighting for the wrong thing?
If things really are so hard to have, are they really what is best for us?
Should we just try to get something that comes easily, without all these heartaches, without all the hard work and sweat and tears?
Sometimes I think so. Then I can move on with my life, and not feel like a failure with no achievements or success.
And we all need to feel we are achieving something, feel we are worth something. Otherwise life becomes dark. And when it is dark, it is hard to get out to the light again.
But the more I think of this, the more I feel like I would just be cheating myself. This fight has been part of me for the past 2 years because I know this position is what I want, its what I will be great at and I have enjoyed the process of the preparation.
And although I have not achieved what I wanted, I still do not feel like a failure (in general). And I think that is the main point.
So my learning from this heartbreak today is that if I, after having thought this through, would not feel like this is something that I feel like I should pursue, then I should give up. Because it wouldnt really be giving up. It would be learning more about myself and not focus on something I feel like would not give me pleasure and satisfaction. But because, the more I think of this, the more I want it, then I cannot stop now. THAT would be giving up!
So giving up is not always just letting things go.
Giving up is when you just stop reaching for your dreams, stop fighting even though that is what you want.
But realizing that this fight does not give you want you really need, then that is not giving up. That is being true to yourself and realize that things change over time and you change over time. So make sure you are fighting for what you want and need, your current dreams and not dreams you had 4 years ago (unless it still is the same dream).
I hope this makes sense to someone and will be a learning point.
It sure was for me
-with love-
Not only for me, but for others as well. It is like everyone has to go through some pains and challenges before they can be or have what they want.
Today I got a rejection e-mail for a position I really wanted. I have been waiting for that position for over 2 years and this time I was so close, I could almost feel it. But then it got snatched away.
I fought for this position. I poured my heart and soul into the preparation and I had support from others in doing so. I really wanted this position.
And when I just got the rejection letter my heart broke.
It was literally like my hard work, my ideas, my passion was worthless.
And that hurts.
For 2 years I have been fighting for this.
and yet another rejection.
So I wonder.
Am I fighting for the wrong thing?
If things really are so hard to have, are they really what is best for us?
Should we just try to get something that comes easily, without all these heartaches, without all the hard work and sweat and tears?
Sometimes I think so. Then I can move on with my life, and not feel like a failure with no achievements or success.
And we all need to feel we are achieving something, feel we are worth something. Otherwise life becomes dark. And when it is dark, it is hard to get out to the light again.
But the more I think of this, the more I feel like I would just be cheating myself. This fight has been part of me for the past 2 years because I know this position is what I want, its what I will be great at and I have enjoyed the process of the preparation.
And although I have not achieved what I wanted, I still do not feel like a failure (in general). And I think that is the main point.
So my learning from this heartbreak today is that if I, after having thought this through, would not feel like this is something that I feel like I should pursue, then I should give up. Because it wouldnt really be giving up. It would be learning more about myself and not focus on something I feel like would not give me pleasure and satisfaction. But because, the more I think of this, the more I want it, then I cannot stop now. THAT would be giving up!
So giving up is not always just letting things go.
Giving up is when you just stop reaching for your dreams, stop fighting even though that is what you want.
But realizing that this fight does not give you want you really need, then that is not giving up. That is being true to yourself and realize that things change over time and you change over time. So make sure you are fighting for what you want and need, your current dreams and not dreams you had 4 years ago (unless it still is the same dream).
I hope this makes sense to someone and will be a learning point.
It sure was for me
-with love-
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