be careful what you wish for!

again to the same topic as in the last two posts, hope and wish. It's still something that is on my mind although it's slowly fading away into "normal" thoughts if I can put it like that.

few days ago I was listening to Home by Chris Daughtry and one part of the lyrics says..
"be careful what you wish for because you just might get it all" and it got me thinking.
it's very true.. we might be inclined to wish for "too" much and not knowing the concequences if we would get everything we ask for. We want sometimes more than we can handle so to speak. we also sometimes think we want things that others want or have without actually deep inside really want it. But we ask for it and when we get it we dont know how/what to do.

so even though I'm hoping and wishing and praying and thinking.. it might not be what I really really want.
Its important to give it a real thought, be sure that what you wish for is what you want and/or need.
make sure you can handle everything you wish for.

I have to think about these things..

-with love-

Still on a path of crazy hope

My mind has been running around like crazy these past few days and it has affected my life in some ways. My thoughts, as mentioned in my previous post, have not been constructive, been out of place and unreal but somehow I can not stop thinking them.
I can not get them out of my mind, no matter how hard I try, no matter I get facts that prove me wrong they stay there and mess with my.
Its so strange that thoughts and even wishful thinking can play this much with you.

Usually I enjoy having creative mind, thoughts all over the place and thing of new and interesting things.
but when they become unconstructive its not so good.

So wishful thinking is keeping me up at night ( so to speak ).
If I should try to find a possitive apsect of all of this, because keeping this possitive is one way that I make sense of all this, would be to look at this wish I have been feeling finally came alive. I realized that I still want it, and I want it badly.
It's clear to me that I have needs in this live that I always thought of but didnt realized how much I need it, or want it.
I feel that's a possitive aspect of my crazy thoughts.
I have realized what I want in life... and now it's about time to work towards it.

Things I want in life will not come easily, I know.
It will take more out of me than I'm used to, take strategies I haven't been successful with but I say.. I'm aware of that but I'm willing to give it a shoot.
I dont think I would ever be satisfied in life if I would never go for it. Fight for what I need and want in life.
Now I realized where my priorities need to lie.
something that I wasn't completely sure, although I knew needed it.

So even if my thoughts are unreal and keeping me insane... at least some good has come out of it.
For that I'm thankful!

I'm hoping for some hope!

When a thought takes place in your mind it can be hard to let that thought go, even though you know its wrong, not good for you, incapable of happening or just unrealistic.
The power of our mind is extreme. I dont think we realize actually how strong it is. It is so strong it can easily play tricks and make us believe whatever.
No matter how strong you think you are... your mind can be just as strong and have it's own agenda.
but of course, the mind is part of who you are so my beliefs are, that if you think about something and your mind starts to convince you it's true... it's something you want. either secretly or openly.

I'm in a situation now, where a wish or a hope came to my mind and for a second I thought it was coming true.. finally.
But when the course of time proved me wrong my mind still tries to make me belive there is hope..
Because deep down it's what I hope for, wish for, what I need.
so I'm allowing my mind to play this game on me and I'm playing along.
But I know it's wrong.. I just want to cling to this small chance of hope.. that my wish will come true no matter what.

It's not healthy.
I know that.
But while I'm still weak for this hope, I allow my emotions, my intellegence to be clouded by this wish I will not break free..
I will stay blind to these games.
But I am aware that I'm playing a fool, I'm setting myself up to fail, I'm going to be sad.
But as long as I can keep this feeling that my hope is alive.. I guess myself dont care.
Although I should care.

I know this makes no sense.. but this situation also makes no sense to me.
I'm senseless and cant get out of it..
no matter how I try.
I hope time will bring me closer to my senses.. to stop these games.
I hope for this hope to continue being a hope, but for the future.. not for the present!
- with love and hope -