When a thought takes place in your mind it can be hard to let that thought go, even though you know its wrong, not good for you, incapable of happening or just unrealistic.
The power of our mind is extreme. I dont think we realize actually how strong it is. It is so strong it can easily play tricks and make us believe whatever.
No matter how strong you think you are... your mind can be just as strong and have it's own agenda.
but of course, the mind is part of who you are so my beliefs are, that if you think about something and your mind starts to convince you it's true... it's something you want. either secretly or openly.
I'm in a situation now, where a wish or a hope came to my mind and for a second I thought it was coming true.. finally.
But when the course of time proved me wrong my mind still tries to make me belive there is hope..
Because deep down it's what I hope for, wish for, what I need.
so I'm allowing my mind to play this game on me and I'm playing along.
But I know it's wrong.. I just want to cling to this small chance of hope.. that my wish will come true no matter what.
It's not healthy.
I know that.
But while I'm still weak for this hope, I allow my emotions, my intellegence to be clouded by this wish I will not break free..
I will stay blind to these games.
But I am aware that I'm playing a fool, I'm setting myself up to fail, I'm going to be sad.
But as long as I can keep this feeling that my hope is alive.. I guess myself dont care.
Although I should care.
I know this makes no sense.. but this situation also makes no sense to me.
I'm senseless and cant get out of it..
no matter how I try.
I hope time will bring me closer to my senses.. to stop these games.
I hope for this hope to continue being a hope, but for the future.. not for the present!
- with love and hope -
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