Life is full of questions - I dare to ask them and hope for answers.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Still on a path of crazy hope

My mind has been running around like crazy these past few days and it has affected my life in some ways. My thoughts, as mentioned in my previous post, have not been constructive, been out of place and unreal but somehow I can not stop thinking them.
I can not get them out of my mind, no matter how hard I try, no matter I get facts that prove me wrong they stay there and mess with my.
Its so strange that thoughts and even wishful thinking can play this much with you.

Usually I enjoy having creative mind, thoughts all over the place and thing of new and interesting things.
but when they become unconstructive its not so good.

So wishful thinking is keeping me up at night ( so to speak ).
If I should try to find a possitive apsect of all of this, because keeping this possitive is one way that I make sense of all this, would be to look at this wish I have been feeling finally came alive. I realized that I still want it, and I want it badly.
It's clear to me that I have needs in this live that I always thought of but didnt realized how much I need it, or want it.
I feel that's a possitive aspect of my crazy thoughts.
I have realized what I want in life... and now it's about time to work towards it.

Things I want in life will not come easily, I know.
It will take more out of me than I'm used to, take strategies I haven't been successful with but I say.. I'm aware of that but I'm willing to give it a shoot.
I dont think I would ever be satisfied in life if I would never go for it. Fight for what I need and want in life.
Now I realized where my priorities need to lie.
something that I wasn't completely sure, although I knew needed it.

So even if my thoughts are unreal and keeping me insane... at least some good has come out of it.
For that I'm thankful!

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