2014 - a year of relationship, respect and kindness!

There are only few hours until the New Year, 2014, begins with fireworks and celebrations and I have been surfing my facebook site and reading some 2013 summaries from friends and family. It is an interesting read. We have all had times of joy and smiles with family and friends. We have learnt something new, met new people (both good and not so good). We have lost someone, had our hearts broken and cried on someone’s shoulder. 

Why am I mentioning all this? I am mentioning this because we have all gone through the same things, although each person experiences it in a different way and each situation is different from the next. We all have sadness in our lives, we all have joy. We have family and friends we care for and we wish them all the best. 

But sometimes it feels like we think that no one understands what we are going through, that no one has it as bad as you have it. And then you take your hurt or frustrations out on others, who might have had just as bad day as you have.

So my New Year’s resolution is to try to be kind to others and treat them in the same manner as I would like to be treated, with respect and kindness. My wish is that we all start doing this because we all need help someday and that requires relationships which will not be built with frustrations and greed. The important relationships are built with trust, respect and openness.

Another new years resolution I have for myself is to be more courageous. I know what I want and I just need to go for it. Nothing will be handed to me on a silver platter. But sometimes I just feel a bit scared to show others what I can do, because what if they don’t think I am good enough? Then I have failed! But I want to take a different approach, I want to look at is as a success.  At least I might get some feedback and support which I would not get if I do not try.

So as I write this I send my wishes into the universe and I hope it reaches every one of you. And I wish you a great 2014 with great adventures and smiles and where relationships, kindness and respect will play a key role. I know that will play a big role in my life.  

Let the new year begin!

.. and the fighting continues!

I wonder sometimes, why things in life that mean something to you, usually do not come without a fight.
Not only for me, but for others as well. It is like everyone has to go through some pains and challenges before they can be or have what they want.

Today I got a rejection e-mail for a position I really wanted. I have been waiting for that position for over 2 years and this time I was so close, I could almost feel it. But then it got snatched away.
I fought for this position. I poured my heart and soul into the preparation and I had support from others in doing so. I really wanted this position.
And when I just got the rejection letter my heart broke.
It was literally like my hard work, my ideas, my passion was worthless.
And that hurts.
For 2 years I have been fighting for this.
and yet another rejection.

So I wonder.
Am I fighting for the wrong thing?
If things really are so hard to have, are they really what is best for us?
Should we just try to get something that comes easily, without all these heartaches, without all the hard work and sweat and tears?
Sometimes I think so. Then I can move on with my life, and not feel like a failure with no achievements or success.
And we all need to feel we are achieving something, feel we are worth something. Otherwise life becomes dark. And when it is dark, it is hard to get out to the light again.

But the more I think of this, the more I feel like I would just be cheating myself. This fight has been part of me for the past 2 years because I know this position is what I want, its what I will be great at and I have enjoyed the process of the preparation.
And although I have not achieved what I wanted, I still do not feel like a failure (in general). And I think that is the main point.

So my learning from this heartbreak today is that if I, after having thought this through, would not feel like this is something that I feel like I should pursue, then I should give up. Because it wouldnt really be giving up. It would be learning more about myself and not focus on something I feel like would not give me pleasure and satisfaction. But because, the more I think of this, the more I want it, then I cannot stop now. THAT would be giving up!
So giving up is not always just letting things go.
Giving up is when you just stop reaching for your dreams, stop fighting even though that is what you want.
But realizing that this fight does not give you want you really need, then that is not giving up. That is being true to yourself and realize that things change over time and you change over time. So make sure you are fighting for what you want and need, your current dreams and not dreams you had 4 years ago (unless it still is the same dream).

I hope this makes sense to someone and will be a learning point.
It sure was for me
-with love-

a shine of light makes me smile!

It has been around half a year since I wrote last. I dont want to force myself to write, especially since it means I dont have things to share with the outside world. But the other day, walking in the evening cold something moved me and I wanted to share again. So I have been reading over some of my older posts here and what strikes me as odd it that I mostly have the need to share when something negative is happening, when I am not feeling happy and things are out of place. And of course that is good, because learning from these moments are incredibly important. But the need to share this time does not come from feeling sad or bad. I am actually more happy than I have been in a long time. And maybe this is development for me too. Now I see the need to share the positive as well as the negative learning.
We'll find out!

So, the other day I was walking. It wasnt that late in the evening but the days here are so short that it was already dark outside. As I am almost arriving at the destination I walk by a church. Now, I am not very religious person but I enjoy discussing and learning about different religions and their philosophies. I would consider me more as a spiritual person, I believe in something out there, angels and good forces and the positive feeling it gives.
But walking towards the church the cross on top of its tower is lit up and from it beams of glow reached into the sky. It was a calming and beautiful sight.
It kind of felt like something was trying it hardest to light up the night sky for me.

I wanted to share this moment because for me it means appreciating the small things in life, things you just accidentally come across during your daily routines. These small things can have great meaning if we just give them a try.
For me, this light represented optimism. It made me smile and realize that just a small effort (like the light) can have a big impact (reaching with the glow far away). and my small effort can also reach far.

- When I am upset or feeling ignored.. do not just sulk and make even more strain on a relationship. smile and the feeling will change as the other person will not ignore you any longer.
- be forgiving. Holding grudges only affects your feeling, not the person you are angry at.
- say thank you.
- give hugs (I have also read that certain amount of hugs, not sure how many, are good for your health).

I hope this feeling of positive impact and joy will stay with me for a long time, especially now that Christmas is coming and family time is at hand.

I wish you all a great weekend full of appreciation.
- with love -