Value driven actions - I am worth it :)

Life takes unexpected turns, in a spur of a moment the path you are on might not feel right, might offer many twists and turns and uncertainty ahead.

But these changes dont happen by themselves. As people we stand in front of choices, we take decisions, we walk the directions we believe to give us something.

I've talked about the idea of fighting for the people who you want to have in your life. I realized when I wrote it, that it might be a wishful thinking.. being so couragous to contact, to reach out, to open up to strangers, even if they leave a mark on you which you cant explain.
But if you do take the chance, it just might bring your life to unexpected turns, for the better.

I've always believed I'm capable of anything. And I am.
But if I think something is wishful thinking, not really gonna happen but a nice idea, then I'm never gonna be able to do this, get what I want, to be with the person I want to be.
I'm then gonna settle on something that I might see more "reachable".
Isnt that sad?

few posts ago I wrote about a quote I saw in a book I was reading, "what is your life worth, is it worth the life you are living".
And its a strange sentence but it makes so much sense.
How much to I value my life?
Do my actions and ideas reflect that value?
If I have wishful thinking but dont think I can reach it, am I then not undervalue my life?

My life today is great, because people were not afraid to reach out, to open up, to stop believing in wishful thinking and start believing in what they are worth. And the good thing that came out of this is what they believe fits the value of their lives.
It might not make any sense to you..
but this makes so much sense to me.

As I sit here and write this, I'm realizing more how I need to start valuing my life and thinking that my actions should reflect on how much I do value it, and that I'm worth it.
I hope you do too.

-with love-

evaluation brings me closer to the person I am supposed to become!

The first post of the year and I was thinking about what to share here.
And after a little brainstorm by myself I decided that maybe the most appropriate topic would be evaluating the year that just passed.
Why evaluating?
Well, in my optinion, if you want to get anywhere in life, no matter where, you have to appreciate your good moments and learn from the bed moments. and evaluating how the year was, the highlights and low points might bring more light to what makes a good year for each and everyone of us.. because it is so individualized.

this was my thought at least.

I'll not go in too much details about my year, that is also not needed unless you want to indentify in each month what made your month and contributed to the learning of the year.
My point of departure begins with a feeling.
How do I feel about the year 2011?

My overall feeling is possitive. I managed to close one chapter of my life and preparing for the next chapter. I feel like 2011 had a big influence in making me the person who I am today and realizing where my passion really is and what I can do with that.
So overall, I'm happy with my experiences throughout the year 2011.

Going into more details of what I mean.
Writing a thesis, doing the organizing, the research, the presentation, it all made me realize that I'm passionate about learning, about creating knowledge and delivering it to those interested.
I already knew this was an interest. but the process during the year made me realize that this is what I want to do with my life.

Another thing I feel i learnt this year is the need to work in all relationships. You always hear "marriage is a house who's foundation needs to be built every day". I think that saying does not only relate to marriages but in all types of relationships. if you do not work on your friendships they dissapear.
That was one of my biggest learnings, from the sad moments this year.

and finally, the events I went through, the loss I experienced this year, made me realize who strong my ties are to my family and how much strength I gain from the relationships.
I always know how much the family meant for me.. but I learnt this year that I actually becomes stronger the better my relationship is with them. And I beliece they become stronger with a stronger relationship as well.

So overall, despite many heartbreaking moments, sadness and crying I feel the laughter, the smiles and the hard work towards success is what made me who I am today. And thinking about 2011 really made me realize it fully.
Having it clear makes you stronger, makes you able to learn, to give something back.. because you know where you stand.

I hope this works for you as well as it worked for me.

-with love-

My new years wishes and thoughts for 2012!

Today, this last day of the year 2011, a lot of things are passing through my thoughts, some have been longer than others and I feel they maybe worth discussing here.

One of the thoughts I've been having is the topic of priorities and friends.
We all love having friends, they mean a lot to us and we try to be there for them in their times of joy and sorrow. But we also expect them to try the same.
For me, that is the "role" of being a friend.

So what happens when friends "break" that role? the idea that you have of the friendship?
Personally, it takes a lot for me to exclude people that mean a lot to me. But when I feel strongly about the prioritation, the "breaking" of friendship, the lack of being there in times of joy (dont get me wrong, I understand if people have important things, hard things to attend to, other plans or are feeling under the weather) it hurts me. It takes a lot to make me feel hurt.
So my reaction is to disconnect.

Maybe, when you read this you think "what the h***" and fair enough. I think about this often because it hurts when I disconnect from people. I dont take it lightly.
But when you feel the friendship is broken, what is the right way to handle it? how to behave?
Are these even right questions to be asking?

I think, for me, I try to not take my friendship for granted. just like any relationship they require work. And for most of the time I'm happy to do that work. But when you feel the other part is not doing the same "amount" of work you start to wonder. And it is this wondering that makes me disconnecting.

But this sad thought is not the only thought that I'm taking with my into the new year.
I try my best to stay positive, to think about the good things in life because there are many around me and I try to learn more, both about friends, family and myself.
that makes me happy.

The other day I was sitting in a bus, looking out the window with good music in my ear and I start smiling. The moment made me feel good. I was sitting and watching the snow that had fallen during the day, how it made the surrounding even more beautiful than before and I started feeling happy being home with my family.
When I exited the bus and started walking towards the meeting point where I was meeting two good friends the weather was cold but still, the snow made the evening bright and I felt relaxed, I felt at peace and I felt hopeful.

Where I'm going with this thought is that I dont expect others to create my happiness, to make me feel blessed. I can only do that myself.
And in order to do so I have to appreciate every good thing around me. And notice that life is full of beautiful moments, people and events. I just have to be open for them.
And this thought, this feeling from the bus ride and the walk made me realize this.
I started smiling more, and when I do so I feel even better.
And I make others around me feel better.
And then life is good.
isnt it?

Well, these were two very different but important thoughts for me I wanted to share with you, if anyone is reading, and hope to take the awareness with me into the new year.
By doing so I'm hoping for even better 2012 where joy and satisfaction take over fear and sadness.
I wish you a great new year, believe in yourself and be aware that you make your own success and happiness.
Happy new year 2012!

When the person fits dont let him/her slip away.

It is not that often that I meet a person that I really connect with, I find funny and smart and when I leave I wanna meet that person soon again.
No it is not that often that people leave such a strong impression on me.

So when that happens, how hard should I fight to make sure these people stay in my life?
I work hard to make sure my friends, the ones that I do know mean a lot to me, stay in my life.
but when it is a new person, someone you might not really know but you wanna get to know, someone you have no connection to exept for the connection made when you met, someone who made you feel something, when does that person deserve some fight to stay in my life as well?

Earlier this year I wrote a post about having nothing to lose. And in this sense I do not have anything to lose. Building up a new connection can be hard, can be scary and can make you shy. But you're only trying to connect to another person.
If you dont step on anyones toes to bridge the gap, then you do not have anything to lose, but everything to gain.

then why am I so shy about it?
Why am I so timid and scared of showing others that I like someone?
do others really care?
I mean, do they care that you are reaching out to someone.. do people not just admire others that know what they want and try to reach out to someone they like?
Oh I dont know.. but something about this process is making my extremely shy, but I do not want to give up.
It is making my questioning myself, but I do not want to give up.

When a person is really special.. the process of finding him/her might be the best learning experience you can go throught.
I'm at least going to try to think about it that way.
and keep on reaching out, finding special people, people that make me feel special as well.

- with love -

what is your hard work worth? worth the life you live?

I'm reading a very interesting book, called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer.
When starting to read the book I wasnt so sure I liked the writing style. It is so different from what you are used to.
But the further I get into the book, the more I read the more facinating it becomes.

The story is very interesting, but what keeps me reading is the interesting questions the characters are asking themselves and others in the book.. they are asking questions we all ask ourselves but put in a way that the reader doesnt have to think about them if he's not in that place. but if he is, then each question sticks out for you to reflect on.
or at least that is how I'm interpret the book, that is my process of reading it.

At one place in the book, the main character is wondering If life was worth all the work it took to live. what exactly made it worth it?

throughout all the questions, the sentences that struck something while I was reading, this one made me stop, read it over again and mark it.
And I wonder why?

And my thoughts came back to my life and the way I live it. I does take hard work to live life. to be the person you want to be, to experience everything life offers. Its hard to keep up with work, with love, with friends, with family, with the outside world, the inside feelings.
life is hard.. for all of us, no matter how good you have it. You have to work for who you are and who you want to be.

What makes it worth it?
why do we do this work?

My guess, because we dont know anything else.
We have ideas and goals, places to see, people to meet, successes to achieve.
and it takes work.
but when you have them. when people are in your life and you reach your goals you just feel it. the satisfaction of doing the best you could. no matter how hard it was.
but for some it doesnt last.
A new goal, new people, new places replace the previous and life becomes hard work again..

This is just my guess..
made from my interpretations..
from my experiences..

but i do think many people would agree to some point.
Or at least I hope so :)

- with love and hard work -

I share my thoughts, would you like to share yours?

I know this blog is not the most popular one out there, and honestly I'm glad it isnt. I share a lot of personal thoughts and issues and if people randomly find their way here and potentially like what they read, I'm glad.

This blog makes me reflect on me, my situations and my thoughts and actions. I feel it's needed and I hope some people benefit from the questions I ask. maybe it helps someone to start a reflection process, and then the purpose of this blog is fulfilled.

but even though this blog is not popular, I still see I get few views.
And just for the sake of knowing someone is reading it, I would highly appreciate if you (yes you) could take few moments to comment if you like what you read.

If you do not like it you can also share that.

Its not something I need you to do.
It something I would like, being as curious as I am.
Knowing what you, the reader, is thinking.
maybe you can also share your reflections with me.

But I'll keep on posting,
reflecting,
thinking,
asking,
wondering
and writing.

-with love-

Celebration time - come on!

Almost a whole month has past by without me posting something.
the reason is twofold: first I've been busy and have not had the time to process my thoughts into a post.
second, my thoughts have been so scattered around issues and ideas. No red thread like sometimes. So it has been hard to find out what it is I want to share here.
Since I use this platform for venting purposes. :)

so what has been on my mind enought to want to share it here?
the topic on my mind is achievements.
mainly celebration of achievements you have reached.

everone has achievements, big or small, that need to be celebrated.
why this is so close to my heart is because I've been speaking to some people who have done well for themselves but they dont recognize it, they dont celebrate success and achievements. And because of that, both big and small acheivement loses its impact.

we all strive to become someone, do something, and if we do not celebrate what we have, what we have reached how will we keep motivated to reach our main goals?
this is what I want to share.
Celebrate, share and enjoy every success, little or small (because no success is little in itself).

Motivation is important but it doesnt happen by itself. we have to work for it. and this, what I have been talking about, is just one step in keeping motivated for your tasks and goals in life.
so celebrate, reach achievements and keep on being successful.

- with love -