Today was a difficult day for a friend of mine. Technically it was yesterday but as I started to write this post I got lost in previous posts on my blogs and found a video I posted few years back.
It felt right, viewing this video as I pay my respects to my friend and her difficulties. The video reminded me just how important family is to me.
My friend lost her younger brother 5 years ago and today would have been his birthday. It is a day when memories are visited, when tears are allowed to fall, where love is celebrated. It is hard, I'm sure. But my friend is strong.
There is not much I can do to brighten her spirit on a day like today.
except be there and make sure she knows I'm thinking of her and her family, who are all dear to me.
the video I just watched has pictures of my family members who I miss greatly. My grandfather who past away 3 years ago became real again, just for the short moment this video played on.
I miss him.
I miss my family, being so far away.
and friends are my family as well.
So if they are hurting, I am hurting.
therefore I want to be there for my family and friends.
Much as I wish I could help her to be strong, I know that grief will not go away. it is part of the healing process, the process of remembering something precious you had but lost. tears are necessary in that process, smiles are crucial.
And you have to go through the emotions.
I feel it now as I remember my grandfather, with tears in my eyes but smile on my face because the memories are amazing.
I hope my friend feels the same.
And my role in all this, just being there when she needs me, smile with her if she wants, cry with her so she doesnt feel alone.
And she will do the same for me!!
that is family!
-with love-
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Imagine it - and live it!
These past few days a lot of things and issues have been crossing my mind. Future paths, education, love, life, family and much more.
I decided to take one of the issues I've been thinking about and discuss it with friends. Getting others perspectives helps me confirm my thoughts or even encourage me to challenge what I believe.
So I did.
The issue is imagination. the reason why this has been on my mind is because every now and then I hear people talk about imagine this and imagine that, and what is their ideal work, ideal partner, ideal life.
I completely agree that you have to have a lively imagination, otherwise how can you build dreams and visions of your life?
How can you figure out different ways to reach your goals?
But as everything, imagination can be too lively.
it can take over and hinder actions as well.
I have a very active imagination. I love imagining new senarios, what my life can look like, what I am capable of and I get what I want and need in life.
A day doesnt go by without me imagining something. and I love it. It motivates me, inspires and drives me.
But does it work the same way for everyone?
Do all people use their imagination like that?
The reason I ask this question is because I know people who dare to use their imagination. they have a very active one.
But they only imagine.
They do not act on it.
They do not use it to drive them, motivate them or inspire.
They get frustrated because their life is not as "good" as they imagine..
They get angry when they do not get what they want/need.
For these people, the imagination is not a positive force.
its hindering them to be what they want, who they are, and strive towards they are capable of.
That's why I wanted to discuss this with people.
What do people think about the value of imagination and the ability to imagine life, love, and career?
the answers are as diverse as people are diverse.
The phrase "its only in your imagination" is usually said with a bad meaning.
But does it have to be?
In my opinion, imagination is just one tool we were given to find our way in this life.
We just have to harnish it, direct it and use it wisely.
I, at least, am trying to.
And I enjoy it when it works.
You should try it as well!
-with love-
I decided to take one of the issues I've been thinking about and discuss it with friends. Getting others perspectives helps me confirm my thoughts or even encourage me to challenge what I believe.
So I did.
The issue is imagination. the reason why this has been on my mind is because every now and then I hear people talk about imagine this and imagine that, and what is their ideal work, ideal partner, ideal life.
I completely agree that you have to have a lively imagination, otherwise how can you build dreams and visions of your life?
How can you figure out different ways to reach your goals?
But as everything, imagination can be too lively.
it can take over and hinder actions as well.
I have a very active imagination. I love imagining new senarios, what my life can look like, what I am capable of and I get what I want and need in life.
A day doesnt go by without me imagining something. and I love it. It motivates me, inspires and drives me.
But does it work the same way for everyone?
Do all people use their imagination like that?
The reason I ask this question is because I know people who dare to use their imagination. they have a very active one.
But they only imagine.
They do not act on it.
They do not use it to drive them, motivate them or inspire.
They get frustrated because their life is not as "good" as they imagine..
They get angry when they do not get what they want/need.
For these people, the imagination is not a positive force.
its hindering them to be what they want, who they are, and strive towards they are capable of.
That's why I wanted to discuss this with people.
What do people think about the value of imagination and the ability to imagine life, love, and career?
the answers are as diverse as people are diverse.
The phrase "its only in your imagination" is usually said with a bad meaning.
But does it have to be?
In my opinion, imagination is just one tool we were given to find our way in this life.
We just have to harnish it, direct it and use it wisely.
I, at least, am trying to.
And I enjoy it when it works.
You should try it as well!
-with love-
Friday, September 30, 2011
I have decided to not be hurting in vain!
Last post I discussed that life isnt fair, that sadness is a part of it but it is up to us as people, to pick us up and make sure we become stronger out of it.
as easy it is to say this/write this, it is hard to actually manage. when we hurt, we stay focused on the pain.. until it is maybe too late to become strong - it has worn us down.
Me personally, I have realized that I've started this process. I try to pick myself up early enough to look the pain in the eyes and say "what happened? why did I react this way? what could I have done differently? what do I want to learn from this?"
of course, I do not do this in all situations, some are just too hurtful to even think about this.
one of the hurtful situations many people go through are breakups.
I personally have not experienced many of those - but those I have were painful.
many people cannot stay friends after the fact, maybe rightly so, but I find it sometimes sad. this person, you maybe spent long time with and experienced good and bad times with, is now just out of your life.
then my question becomes this: "why is this breakup taking place? what did I do that contributed to it? and what would I want to get out of this?"
Again, very easy to write and maybe not so easy to think about when you are hurting.
but because of this.. the guys I have experienced breakup with are today my friends. those that I decided after thinking about it before it was too late, before hurtful words were said and before I completely closed my heart to them, stayed in my life.
And I'm so grateful for it.
Those I want to keep in my life have shared some intimate moments, I have shared my feelings and opened my heart.
these people I dont want to lose.
be they ex boyfriends or friends.
if the learning from the hard times proves I want you in my life, I'll do my best to keep you there.
But it takes effort to reflect, to think what will I learn when I'm hurting.
I know that..
but I'm also aware of that I have to try.
I want to try.
because going through the hurt and pain and not learn what I can from it,
feels like having gone through it all in vain, and that for me is even worse.
SO I hope, as you may read over this.. some of it makes sense.
that you believe you can learn more from life that you think.
You just have to decide to do so.
it's not easy,
but doable!
-with love-
as easy it is to say this/write this, it is hard to actually manage. when we hurt, we stay focused on the pain.. until it is maybe too late to become strong - it has worn us down.
Me personally, I have realized that I've started this process. I try to pick myself up early enough to look the pain in the eyes and say "what happened? why did I react this way? what could I have done differently? what do I want to learn from this?"
of course, I do not do this in all situations, some are just too hurtful to even think about this.
one of the hurtful situations many people go through are breakups.
I personally have not experienced many of those - but those I have were painful.
many people cannot stay friends after the fact, maybe rightly so, but I find it sometimes sad. this person, you maybe spent long time with and experienced good and bad times with, is now just out of your life.
then my question becomes this: "why is this breakup taking place? what did I do that contributed to it? and what would I want to get out of this?"
Again, very easy to write and maybe not so easy to think about when you are hurting.
but because of this.. the guys I have experienced breakup with are today my friends. those that I decided after thinking about it before it was too late, before hurtful words were said and before I completely closed my heart to them, stayed in my life.
And I'm so grateful for it.
Those I want to keep in my life have shared some intimate moments, I have shared my feelings and opened my heart.
these people I dont want to lose.
be they ex boyfriends or friends.
if the learning from the hard times proves I want you in my life, I'll do my best to keep you there.
But it takes effort to reflect, to think what will I learn when I'm hurting.
I know that..
but I'm also aware of that I have to try.
I want to try.
because going through the hurt and pain and not learn what I can from it,
feels like having gone through it all in vain, and that for me is even worse.
SO I hope, as you may read over this.. some of it makes sense.
that you believe you can learn more from life that you think.
You just have to decide to do so.
it's not easy,
but doable!
-with love-
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Good vs. Sad: what will be your learning from the pain?
No one ever said that life was fair so I try never to take things for granted and work for what I want, hang out with friends, talk everyday with my family and hang on to things that make me smile.
Life has good things, bad things, great things, sad things and everything in between to offer. Well, its not so much as offering but forcing.
and as people, we prefer, of course, the great happy things.
but when sad things happen, it is then when you understand your strength as a person, your relationship with your family and friends, and you learn to appreciate the good things in life again.
but somehow, when time passes, we are likely to forget what we learnt from the event, our strength, our hopes, our valuable relationships and only focus on the hurt that followed.
and even though it is said, that time heals all wounds.. its not completely true.
some wounds are so deep.
so for me, even though I face sad and hurtful events in my life, I try to support my family, I try to heal the relationships that I have, and I try not to forget.
I cry.
I cry even more.
and then, as time passes.. I look back at the sad events in life and try not to think so much about the hurt they caused, but the strength that I showed. I think about the friendships that I have to tend to, my relationship with family that I have to keep strong and loving.
I know it might be strange to read this,
but the only hope I have for writing this post is that people understand that dont think only about Good vs. Sad things..
but think more about how do I react with certain events, and what do I have to learn from them. Especially the sad ones, as we might tend to think only about the hurt they brought (which I cannot say, "let go"). but try to take it one step further.
Life isnt fair,
It is full of hurt, sadness, pain and cries.
But it is also full of broken relationships, friends that are around the corner and strength waiting to be used.
and my experience is that, these things need nurturing, and usually the thought starts when you're hurting.
so learn from it, dont allow it to break you.
be strong.. that is the time to be so.
and you'll be able to look back with sadness and hurt but still understand that you did whatever you could to come out of it a better person, a person who's family relies on, depends on and looks up to.
Isnt that something we all want and strive for?
I want to be someone people feel they can trust, talk to, lean on, and cry (or smile)with.
but I have to learn to be that person.
and I believe I'm on that learning path.
what about you?
- with love -
Life has good things, bad things, great things, sad things and everything in between to offer. Well, its not so much as offering but forcing.
and as people, we prefer, of course, the great happy things.
but when sad things happen, it is then when you understand your strength as a person, your relationship with your family and friends, and you learn to appreciate the good things in life again.
but somehow, when time passes, we are likely to forget what we learnt from the event, our strength, our hopes, our valuable relationships and only focus on the hurt that followed.
and even though it is said, that time heals all wounds.. its not completely true.
some wounds are so deep.
so for me, even though I face sad and hurtful events in my life, I try to support my family, I try to heal the relationships that I have, and I try not to forget.
I cry.
I cry even more.
and then, as time passes.. I look back at the sad events in life and try not to think so much about the hurt they caused, but the strength that I showed. I think about the friendships that I have to tend to, my relationship with family that I have to keep strong and loving.
I know it might be strange to read this,
but the only hope I have for writing this post is that people understand that dont think only about Good vs. Sad things..
but think more about how do I react with certain events, and what do I have to learn from them. Especially the sad ones, as we might tend to think only about the hurt they brought (which I cannot say, "let go"). but try to take it one step further.
Life isnt fair,
It is full of hurt, sadness, pain and cries.
But it is also full of broken relationships, friends that are around the corner and strength waiting to be used.
and my experience is that, these things need nurturing, and usually the thought starts when you're hurting.
so learn from it, dont allow it to break you.
be strong.. that is the time to be so.
and you'll be able to look back with sadness and hurt but still understand that you did whatever you could to come out of it a better person, a person who's family relies on, depends on and looks up to.
Isnt that something we all want and strive for?
I want to be someone people feel they can trust, talk to, lean on, and cry (or smile)with.
but I have to learn to be that person.
and I believe I'm on that learning path.
what about you?
- with love -
Friday, August 19, 2011
being able to take opportunities - it requires work!
Another month is passing by, life goes on, situations change but you always feel the same - you never change as well.
Or do you?
I havent had the time lately for personal reflections, interesting conversations (exept about my thesis) or experiencing new things. Life just flies by without me, I feel.
but there are moments in life that are worth grabbing, in the speeding reality we live in. we might not see them as they fly by as well... but we have to keep our eyes open, our minds aware and body able to grab them when we see them.
so what does that mean?
what does it mean when someone says "keep your eyes open" for something/someone?
I mean, we have our eyes open most of our waking time.. so it doesnt make sense - or does it?
I guess that not everyone takes it so literal.
But I think its more than just having your eyes open, if you dont want to miss out on something.
I believe you have to mentally prepared as well. without self-awareness and mental strength you will not be able to comprehend what you are "seeing". You will not be able to connect the "view" with your life and what you want out of it.
but it's also not only about mental strength.
I believe as well that it is about physical strength.
Ok.. not maybe about being able to benchpress 100kg, but it's about the balance between body and mind. if you keep your mind sharp as well as your body.. you are more motivated to grab the opportunities that your eyes are open for.
Being able to comprehend the opportunities is one thing.. being able to run after them to catch them is another thing.
Therefore, I believe.. in this fast changing world, where opportuntities come and go, you as a person with goals and ideas need to understand what it takes to get where you want to go without losing to speedy environment and people in a hurry.
life always has something to offer.. be prepared to figure it out.
it requires some ability on your behalf, but nothing you cant work towards.
sharp eye, sharp mind and strong body.. and you're good to go.
Or at least I believe so :)
- with love -
Or do you?
I havent had the time lately for personal reflections, interesting conversations (exept about my thesis) or experiencing new things. Life just flies by without me, I feel.
but there are moments in life that are worth grabbing, in the speeding reality we live in. we might not see them as they fly by as well... but we have to keep our eyes open, our minds aware and body able to grab them when we see them.
so what does that mean?
what does it mean when someone says "keep your eyes open" for something/someone?
I mean, we have our eyes open most of our waking time.. so it doesnt make sense - or does it?
I guess that not everyone takes it so literal.
But I think its more than just having your eyes open, if you dont want to miss out on something.
I believe you have to mentally prepared as well. without self-awareness and mental strength you will not be able to comprehend what you are "seeing". You will not be able to connect the "view" with your life and what you want out of it.
but it's also not only about mental strength.
I believe as well that it is about physical strength.
Ok.. not maybe about being able to benchpress 100kg, but it's about the balance between body and mind. if you keep your mind sharp as well as your body.. you are more motivated to grab the opportunities that your eyes are open for.
Being able to comprehend the opportunities is one thing.. being able to run after them to catch them is another thing.
Therefore, I believe.. in this fast changing world, where opportuntities come and go, you as a person with goals and ideas need to understand what it takes to get where you want to go without losing to speedy environment and people in a hurry.
life always has something to offer.. be prepared to figure it out.
it requires some ability on your behalf, but nothing you cant work towards.
sharp eye, sharp mind and strong body.. and you're good to go.
Or at least I believe so :)
- with love -
Friday, July 29, 2011
Emotional baggage - where to leave it behind?
It's interesting how emotions work/dont work.
I have absolutely no idea, sometimes, why I feel the way I feel or why I'm not feeling something I think I should be feeling.
Last night, as I was practicing playing the guitar I decided to try to play one song. This is a beautiful song but I realized I hadnt heard it for almost 8 years but I sometimes think about it.
The reason I think about it is because I relate the song with a very sad and hard decision I had to make 8 years ago.
so of course I have gone out of my way to not hear it.
But somehow yesterday I though I would give it a go, especially since I would just be badly playing it and singing it myself.
After the first 5 worlds I just burst into tears.
I felt all these emotions, sadness, lonlienss, regret, wonder and lack of hope, just fill my consciousness.
And I couldnt stop crying.
I have often thought about the decision I took and I dont regret it.
I have come to terms with it, I even made sure I will always remember the choice I made and why it was the right decision.
I have talked to family about it.
I have cried, I have smiled, I have been hurt and I have been satisfied.
so I thought I had worked through my issues.
Yesterday, after only 5 words from one song.. I am not so sure I have worked through them all.
why would I cry if there is not something that is bothering me?
why cant I listen to a song that reminds me of hard times, when I believe I have made peace with my decision?
why are emotions so hard to control or even to understand?
Maybe my issues run deeper than I expected.
or maybe its not the decision I'm still having problems with, but the fear of no future possibilities.
maybe it's the fact that I'm losing hope, more than strengthen it.
maybe the decision I took many years ago, scared me in more areas than I knew.
Whatever it is, there is still some emotions lurking around, making me realize I need to do something more than I have been doing so far.
I just dont know what!
-with love-
I have absolutely no idea, sometimes, why I feel the way I feel or why I'm not feeling something I think I should be feeling.
Last night, as I was practicing playing the guitar I decided to try to play one song. This is a beautiful song but I realized I hadnt heard it for almost 8 years but I sometimes think about it.
The reason I think about it is because I relate the song with a very sad and hard decision I had to make 8 years ago.
so of course I have gone out of my way to not hear it.
But somehow yesterday I though I would give it a go, especially since I would just be badly playing it and singing it myself.
After the first 5 worlds I just burst into tears.
I felt all these emotions, sadness, lonlienss, regret, wonder and lack of hope, just fill my consciousness.
And I couldnt stop crying.
I have often thought about the decision I took and I dont regret it.
I have come to terms with it, I even made sure I will always remember the choice I made and why it was the right decision.
I have talked to family about it.
I have cried, I have smiled, I have been hurt and I have been satisfied.
so I thought I had worked through my issues.
Yesterday, after only 5 words from one song.. I am not so sure I have worked through them all.
why would I cry if there is not something that is bothering me?
why cant I listen to a song that reminds me of hard times, when I believe I have made peace with my decision?
why are emotions so hard to control or even to understand?
Maybe my issues run deeper than I expected.
or maybe its not the decision I'm still having problems with, but the fear of no future possibilities.
maybe it's the fact that I'm losing hope, more than strengthen it.
maybe the decision I took many years ago, scared me in more areas than I knew.
Whatever it is, there is still some emotions lurking around, making me realize I need to do something more than I have been doing so far.
I just dont know what!
-with love-
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Recent thoughts being challenged to gain the most from life!
I had a very interesting converstation today that made me rethink my thoughts I posted here yesterday about taking chances and not being afraid of losing out.
my cousin wanted to know if I would risk altering a great memory by reaching out to something that might not even be there in the first place.
and it's a valid question.
when you meet people, they leave impressions on you and then you go your seperate ways, you are left behind with the memories of laughter, jokes, kisses and fun.
if you reach out to that person, maybe not sure what will come out of it, those memories might lose its charm, they might change.
and why would they change?
Well, my thought is that, if that person does not answer, then your thoughts are colored with sadness.
if that person does answer but with negative feedback, your thoughts are colored with anger.
if that person does answer and with possitive feedback, your thoughts might drift away from the already created memories to hoping for future memories (again something that might not even happen)
So it is a fair question to ask someone who, like me, doesnt want to lose people from my life.
but is it always worth it, to reach out?
now, that's a topic I would love to discuss with someone out there.
because I'm honestly not sure.
Of course, memories are great, they create the life I lead and impact the path I take.
but if there is a change for something more, bigger impact, more stable impact.. wouldnt I want to take that chance?
I sit and I wonder, does it always pay of to take chances - is there something to lose but I just didnt realize it?
I guess this topic will need some more reflection on by part.
I want to make sure I get the best out of life - be that great memories, new people as friends and changing paths along the way.
I just need to think this through!
-with love-
my cousin wanted to know if I would risk altering a great memory by reaching out to something that might not even be there in the first place.
and it's a valid question.
when you meet people, they leave impressions on you and then you go your seperate ways, you are left behind with the memories of laughter, jokes, kisses and fun.
if you reach out to that person, maybe not sure what will come out of it, those memories might lose its charm, they might change.
and why would they change?
Well, my thought is that, if that person does not answer, then your thoughts are colored with sadness.
if that person does answer but with negative feedback, your thoughts are colored with anger.
if that person does answer and with possitive feedback, your thoughts might drift away from the already created memories to hoping for future memories (again something that might not even happen)
So it is a fair question to ask someone who, like me, doesnt want to lose people from my life.
but is it always worth it, to reach out?
now, that's a topic I would love to discuss with someone out there.
because I'm honestly not sure.
Of course, memories are great, they create the life I lead and impact the path I take.
but if there is a change for something more, bigger impact, more stable impact.. wouldnt I want to take that chance?
I sit and I wonder, does it always pay of to take chances - is there something to lose but I just didnt realize it?
I guess this topic will need some more reflection on by part.
I want to make sure I get the best out of life - be that great memories, new people as friends and changing paths along the way.
I just need to think this through!
-with love-
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