when the heavens are crying

The other day I had a dream about my grandfather, but he passed away last July.
He looked so happy with constant smile on his face, enjoying his time with the family ( in the dream ) and I remember how peaceful I felt when I woke up.

Today is the day when you honor the people that have passed away, those people that ment the world to you and you cherish every moment you had with when they were alive.

I knew about this day but I didn't connect it with my dreams of my grandfather.
Now I see that this was my way to connect, to honor, to remember.
Share my dream with him, laugh together, smile together and share random jokes like old times.

When I was told about this day, honor those who have passed away, I didn't really understand why.
But as the day comes closer and I reconnect with my grandfather, I understand completely. I understand that it's about honoring the life of that person, honoring their impact they had on you and to strengthen your ties with that person.
This day makes so much sense to me now.

I know my grandfather is happy with how strong I am, the life I'm living and the way I treat and respect people around me.
But I also know that he's happy knowing that I remember, honor and respect him.

When I was walking to the office today it rained heavily and a sentance came to my mind in Icelandic... Himnarnir Gráta ( the heavens are weaping ) and the reason again is the concept of today.
We feel sad when people leave us, that we will not have more time, moments, jokes and laughter with that individual.
It's not the fact that it's raining that I connect with the concept.. but it's the feeling I get when it's stopped raining. That feeling is of new beginning.. fresh breath and green grass..
That is what I connect with today.
Knowing that life is not forever.. make every moment a fresh breath of air in your life so that you enjoy your path you're taking.



I'm smiling as I write this.. knowing that this post is a little chaotic, little unclear and little strange.
But it makes complete sense to me.
- with love -

New day and new discoveries

Like I said in my previous blog, some lyrics just hit home, depends on how you are feeling and what you are going through at each time.
Yesterday, the beatles song - Let it be - made me realize few things about me and my behaviour.
But yesterday i also heard a song that I haven't heard for a long time, and it's completely in my head.
And yet again, the lyrics are something that make me stop and think.



"A broken heart cant be that bad
When it's through, it's through
Fate will twist the both of you
so come on, baby, come on over
Let me be the one to show you

I'm the one who wants to be with you
Deep inside I hope you feel it too

Build up your confidence
so you can be on top for once

Why be alone when we can be together baby?
You can make my life worth while
I can make you start to smile"

I extremely like this song, its cool, it's hip and those lines that I have written up here.. I really connect with them in one way or another.

My day today was good.
Came to the office and drowned myself in work. Then I planned my social calander for the week.
It looks good!
Lets hope I'll enjoy the last days in Paris :)

-with love-

Keep on learning new things!

Here you can find my pictures from September

http://www.picturetrail.com/misswenaer-3

There comes a time when you feel sad and low. But it’s up to you to pick yourself up again and make the most our of your experience.

This weekend has been like this for me.

Like I said in the previous post, its friends and family that support me and guide me to the right way, that matter the most.

And I do have these people in my life :)

I had an AHA moment today.

As i was walking in the metro station, I was listening to a beatles song - Let it be – but actually performed by Brooke White. Amazing perfomance.

And the lyrics hit home with me.

“And all the broken hearten people living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be.”

The lyrics may not be very meaningful for others, but I believe that in times of your life, some lyrics just mean more then they did before.

And then, when I came to the office I opened a blog of my friend, Dey

And one thing was so interesting in what he was saying.

Why do we follow stupid rules of mating?
Who decides what’s wrong and what’s right?
Why can I not express my feelings with the individual without having the fear of not behaving in the right way?
Why do I care about this?

It’s interesting to find out what you can actually learn from you friends.
I’m enjoying the fact that I have people around me that I learn from and hopefully they learn from me as well.

So today was an AHA day, in more then one way.

- with love -

Dont let the sun go down !

Even though I’m enjoying my time in Paris, tryin to be strong though unsertanty is waiting for me, I do have times when I just break down and I give up.

I just want to give up.

I know I’m strong, stronger then most people give me credit for.
But when things keep on being bad, keep on rattling my cage, keep on changing, I do have a limit before i just burst.

This morning, things went over the limit.

I gave up – wanted to go back home.

So I sat down, with tears in my eyes, and tried to have energy to work. Somehow I couldn’t find it.

My energy was gone, along with the motivation to work.

I know one of my weaknesses is that i complain and make myself a victim.
So I do my best not to make this shine through, since I want to work on my weaknesses and enhance my strengths.
But sometimes people dont know you are feeling bad, sad, low, down or upset unless you show it.

This morning I decided to show a little, to the world, that I was not 100% today, I am feeling low.

One of my dearest friends asked me what was wrong so I told her.
I told her my frustrations, my lack of motivation and my reasons for feeling low.
I’m very glad that I did.

She told me” look Thordis, You can not give up. You are one of the strongest individual I know. Good things will happen to you. Just keep on fighting”

This girl is one of the friends I admire the most, and I dont want to let her down.These few words made me realize that yes, maybe I do have a bad day today. But I do live a great life, I do have the best friends and I do have people around me that support me when I’m feeling low.
It made me realize that I dont want to give up. I do want to make this the best experience of my life, and even if it comes with big challenges, I’m not going to give up.

I’m strong!

So now I’m going to smile through this “crisis” and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

- with love -

Short and sweet

I'm leaving Denmark .
I have mixed feelings about it.

Meeting my friends made me realize how much I'm missing while being in AIESEC.
But it also made me realize how amazing my life actually is.

So now, I'm taking the plane to Paris
and there I will do my best to life the experience until December.
Then I go back HOME!!

I cant wait!

Is heaven something you make everyday?

Some days are better then others.
Usually, Wednesdays are my worst days of the week but today I have been in a good mood, working hard and super excited.
Tomorrow I'm leaving to Denmark, I will meet my friends again after more then 2 months. :)

Its so interesting, I'm sitting at the office and having random songs playing.
But as I start to write this post a song by Lenny Kravitz, Believe, starts playing.
And the lyrics is a appropriate - If you want it you got it. You have to believe, believe in your self.

That's something I'm learning more and more.
Having a smile, knowing how strong you are, believe in your power, your passion, your knowledge gets you far.
People respect those who respect themselves, those who believe in themselves, those who know what their worth.
I admire those people.
I am one of those people.

I'm leaving you now to prepare my journey to Denmark.
A journey full of exciting new adventures, old friends (old but great ) and learning to believe more in myself.
I wish you the same
- with love -

Free Hugs - Free smiles :)

it's strange, I have lived in Paris for just a month now and when I was coming home from my travels I felt I was coming "home". I am surprised how short time it took to look at Paris as my home. I think it's because I like it here and I want to make this my home.

My travels made me realize how much I love to be in different cities, meeting new people and being random in my actions ( random in a good way ).
I started my travels by going to Bratislava to meet Janie. She took the time to show me around and I enjoyed it so much. I liked Bratislava and it's surroundings. I learnt a lot about the history from this region and how things are different then you actually thought they had been.

After my stay in Bratislava I went to Piestany - a smaller town in Slovakia where EuroCo 2008 was held.
This town is very cute, at least the small part I saw of the city.
I walked around, eating Ice Cream and really loving my life.

After 6 days in that lovely little town I went back to Bratislava but my stay there would not be so long since I decided to take a bus to Budapest, Hungary.
I staied there for 1 day, doing sightseeing with people that I really dont know that much. But it was so much fun, and I feel like I'm stepping outside my comfort zone by interacting with people in higher level then just "hi how are you face".
Thanks Anula for hosting me in your lovely city :)

After Budapest my travels took my to Vienna, Austria.
That city impressed me so much. I had the best time there and I only staied there for 3 hours.
My and Vishal, MCP of AIESEC Belgium were there for short sight seeing and we found a group of people giving Free hugs to people walking by.
It was so interesting since I just saw a short movie at EuroCo about Free Hugs and how they can make people smile.
So me and Vishal got a free Hug and then we decided to participate as well, so we created our own "FREE HUGS" sign.
I have to admit that giving hugs to random strangers would not be something I had done few years back. But now, I feel I'm becoming a stronger individual that wants to spread smiles amongst the people around me.

So now I'm back in Paris, my home.
Thinking back at this travel, this experience with a smile.
And I'm so happy with my life, my friends and the people interacting with me on daily basis.
I'm so happy!´
-with love-

when you feel sad and blue

It's so sad when you feel like you are so small and that what you want/who you want is just not there for you to hold on to.
Its so sad to feel like you are just the "friend", just the one who stands in the corner, the one who knows everyone on superficial level but no one really tries to understand and appriciate.
It's so sad that people look at appearances, that people have steriotypes, that people have very strict messures of what beauty actually is.
It's so sad that when you want to fit in, people and circumstances wont let you.
It's so sad that in order to feel appriciated you can not expect more then being just this random person who is a platonic friend but everyone talks to but not really TALKS to.
It's so sad to know that this happen to different people every day, even when they should be in a group of people that they can trust, respect and value their thoughts.
Sometimes that's just on the surface, when you dig deeper you realize that these nice words, these nice moments weren't really real! you just asumed they were because you believe your actions towards them are real.
this is so sad to know.

ON the other hand...
it's so nice to know that there are people that appriciate what you do, what you have to add to the conversations and they listen with attention and really mean it.
It's nice to know that people you work with, people you have high expectations of really come through in the end.
It's nice to know that even though you feel bad because of things mentioned above, peope will make you smile.
Maybe it's not the people you wanted to make you smile. But those who do make you smile, make you forget that you feel sad, you really need to show them appriciation.
Otherwise you are the reason why they are sad as well.

Just some random thoughts coming to my mind in Slovakia.
my mind functions in various ways... this is just one of them.

wondering about life and love

It's strange how few small things can influence you and how you feel more then expected.

there is one aspect in my life that just seem to never want to work out. Maybe i'm not open enough for that to happen? Maybe I am scared of being hurt or being the one that hurt others?
So I question this thing - Love life - What the hell is that, and how should I make that work?

I know this is silly things to be thinking when I'm sitting in a 3 and a half star hotel in Slovakia with around 200 people from all Europe and Canada coming together to enhance their leadership skills and be prepared for their term ahead.
But still this comes to mind.

but my stay here in Slovakia has not been only about reflecting on this word.
It's also been about delivering on my promises, involving externals to AIESEC and showing them how benefitial it is to work with AIESECers.
I promised something.
Now it's up to me to walk the talk.
I look forward to it.
It's starting tonight. Tonight I feel like my work is about to take new turn, new twist to the better. More excitment, more challenging, more rewarding.
I'm seeing the first results of my work.
How cool is that?

So far I feel good. I feel ready.
- with Love -