Even though I’m enjoying my time in Paris, tryin to be strong though unsertanty is waiting for me, I do have times when I just break down and I give up.
I just want to give up.
I know I’m strong, stronger then most people give me credit for.
But when things keep on being bad, keep on rattling my cage, keep on changing, I do have a limit before i just burst.
This morning, things went over the limit.
I gave up – wanted to go back home.
So I sat down, with tears in my eyes, and tried to have energy to work. Somehow I couldn’t find it.
My energy was gone, along with the motivation to work.
I know one of my weaknesses is that i complain and make myself a victim.
So I do my best not to make this shine through, since I want to work on my weaknesses and enhance my strengths.
But sometimes people dont know you are feeling bad, sad, low, down or upset unless you show it.
This morning I decided to show a little, to the world, that I was not 100% today, I am feeling low.
One of my dearest friends asked me what was wrong so I told her.
I told her my frustrations, my lack of motivation and my reasons for feeling low.
I’m very glad that I did.
She told me” look Thordis, You can not give up. You are one of the strongest individual I know. Good things will happen to you. Just keep on fighting”
This girl is one of the friends I admire the most, and I dont want to let her down.These few words made me realize that yes, maybe I do have a bad day today. But I do live a great life, I do have the best friends and I do have people around me that support me when I’m feeling low.
It made me realize that I dont want to give up. I do want to make this the best experience of my life, and even if it comes with big challenges, I’m not going to give up.
So now I’m going to smile through this “crisis” and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
- with love -