when you feel sad and blue

It's so sad when you feel like you are so small and that what you want/who you want is just not there for you to hold on to.
Its so sad to feel like you are just the "friend", just the one who stands in the corner, the one who knows everyone on superficial level but no one really tries to understand and appriciate.
It's so sad that people look at appearances, that people have steriotypes, that people have very strict messures of what beauty actually is.
It's so sad that when you want to fit in, people and circumstances wont let you.
It's so sad that in order to feel appriciated you can not expect more then being just this random person who is a platonic friend but everyone talks to but not really TALKS to.
It's so sad to know that this happen to different people every day, even when they should be in a group of people that they can trust, respect and value their thoughts.
Sometimes that's just on the surface, when you dig deeper you realize that these nice words, these nice moments weren't really real! you just asumed they were because you believe your actions towards them are real.
this is so sad to know.

ON the other hand...
it's so nice to know that there are people that appriciate what you do, what you have to add to the conversations and they listen with attention and really mean it.
It's nice to know that people you work with, people you have high expectations of really come through in the end.
It's nice to know that even though you feel bad because of things mentioned above, peope will make you smile.
Maybe it's not the people you wanted to make you smile. But those who do make you smile, make you forget that you feel sad, you really need to show them appriciation.
Otherwise you are the reason why they are sad as well.

Just some random thoughts coming to my mind in Slovakia.
my mind functions in various ways... this is just one of them.