Life is full of questions - I dare to ask them and hope for answers.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Fear of being small

I met up with an old friend yesterday after few years.
I have to admit I was a little nervous, not because we wouldn't have stuff to talk about but more on if we had become SO different that what we had to say wouldn't be interesting to the other one.

Of course this feeling was based on fear, a fear that went a way soon.
It was great catching up and I realized we had much to talk about. Cultural understanding and awareness is a big interest for both of us.

In my opinion we had extremely deep and interesting conversation and I really enjoyed the topics.

On my way home I started to think.
- why are we always doubting ourselves?
My fear was built on doubt that a person wouldn't find my conversation interesting.
I'm glad that I this doubt didn't stop me from meeting my friend.

But I'm sure that a lot of people let these doubts and fears stop them in actually living, building relationships and discover themselves.
People doubt their intelligence in conversations, in idea sharing and would rather stay silent then face people saying " I dont agree" or "I dont feel the same way".

I was like that, I had hard time speaking up, sharing my thoughts and enter conversations.
Not any more, thankfully :)
Now I enjoy conversations where the words "I dont agree" are used.
I'm beating back my fear as I feel that dialogues, conversations and listening to other people's opinion brings me closer to my own opinion and idea. So I value that.

Feeling nervous yesterday was strange but I think it's normal. Just as long as I realize that I have something to bring to people and the fear doesn't stop me in meeting people and have fun!

- with love -

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