The need to express oneself leads to ....

I'm still searching for the peacefulness.. the power that comes when you are in total ease with who you are and what you dream of..
I'm searching in all the wrong places.

These words, Peace, tranquility, serenity, calm and hopes are something that I can not seem to get out of my thoughts since yesterday. They are affecting me in some way. But a good way.
I have this urge to express myself, but I need the right audience for what I want to say.
I know to whom my message is ment for, but I can not get the attention of the needed audiences. What to do then?
Still communicate?
pour my heart out?
make space for new thoughts?
What to do when I have a point but no one is near to hear it?

But then again I might challenge my questions and ask - do you want this group to hear what you have to say?
Are you sure peace and harmony will follow?
because that's the ultimiate need for my message. To create the environment of tranquility, of serenity. Where I can be left in peace with no worries or thoughts in mind.
Is that the ideal world I'm looking for?

my heart is pounding as this need to express, to say something, to be heard increases but my hope for someone to actually listen ( or the right audience will be found ) decreases.
My hopes are diminishing.
they are fading, now when I need them the most.

I still search for this ideal world, where peace is upon me.
Where these thoughts, this pain, this history is kept aside but not forgotten.
Where it lies in hibernation and leaves me with peaceful new experiences.
I'm searching.
In all the wrong places.
Direct me to the right place.

-with love-