With questions I take on the new year!

It's the last day of this eventful year, 2010 is just around the corner and looking just as promising as this passing one has been.
It's interesting to look back and see the changes you have gone through, the challenges you have overcome, the people who empowered your life and the family who supported you.
I do feel blessed when I look back.

So many questions have come and gone through my head, questions that I have searched for answers and brought me closer to what I believe and what I stand for as a young Icelandic person.
Questions about love, lust, friends, family, education, motivation, obessesion, travels and so much more.
Some have been answered, Some still circle around my life waiting to be answered and some I dont think will ever get their answer.

These questions are my way to look forward, learn and expand my horizon.
I think each year needs to include some questions, something you search for, learn from and enjoy questioning.
Never take the status Quo.
Never accept things just because it has always been like that.
That I have learned.
It's hard, but the strong people who manage are those who leave something behind, those who live their lives proud, those who others hope they could be like. That is what I believe.

So when the new year comes along, I wish for continuous questions, hopes to learn more, enjoyment of experience and peace in being who you are.
I will continue looking for that.
Thanks for reading and happy new year

- with love -

still looking for creation

The holiday season is half way through, the new year is around the corner and life is sweet.
Time of family, love and fun is still around me and it makes me smile.

The thought of creation and expression is growing, hindering me in sleeping - the need is so strong. My mind can not stop wondering, thinking and analyzing the process, facts and tasks that needs to happen before.
I find it so interesting, I'm quite excited.

I look forward to the new year with all it's challenges, all it's opportunities and all it's learning that I intend to get.
2010 will be a challenging year.. I hope.. but one where I stand tall and take each challenge with a smile.
I have goals for 2010, I have ambitions and I look forward to organize myself, change myself and become even better.
2010 is my year, just as 2009 has been my year.. but just in even better way!

-with love-

In peace I find the will to create

Sitting in my parents living room with the TV on, the christmas lights brighly shining and window open, I feel great but a little restless. During this time where I eat, sleep, spend time with family I love the peacefulness but I also feel the need to create, to make something I can be proud of.
I want to write a book.

Writing a book is something I have always wanted to do. Specially when I was writing poems and I wanted to publish a book with my finest work.
Now I want to do more, something that people can learn from as I have learn from others.
I want to inspire, motivate and share.
This feeling is growing stronger and stronger.. Now it's disturbing my peace, leaving me with restlessness, a mind in overdrive wondering what to write about.. where is my passion.

I think this feeling is growing due to knowing my creativity needs improvement.. I need to work on my innovation, my thinking outside the box.
I think the book, the process of writing, will bring creativity to me.. help me with releasing my innovational and creative thinking.
I will continue thinking, looking at topics, finding where my passion lies. What could I write about?
How can I inspire?
will someone actually want to read what I have to say?

I also want to publish some of my finest poetry.. still collecting and wondering of the theme.. there has to be a theme right?
I love this restlessness because it challenges me..
It makes sure I dont just be, that I try to be even better then before.
I will continue to try.

Now I sit, enjoy the constant battle between the peace Christmas brings and the restless spirit the creativity awakens within me.
I love it.
And I do hope I continue following my feelings.
-with love-

Merry Christmas to y'all :)

It's night before Christmas eve and I'm home, in Iceland, with my family.
I've been home for few days and it feels amazing. Being with people you love and who love you.
Tomorrow comes Christmas, these special times I enjoy so much, peaceful and full of joy. People smile more but are stressed as well.
I dont feel stressed at all.
If something I feel too relaxed. Being home I have the mindset of enjoy, love and belonging.

As soon as I came home I felt the christmas spirit.
It's amazing.
Not that I didn't feel the Christmas in Copenhagen... it's just completely different when you come home, see the christmas lights and smile and hug my family.
Now Christmas can come.
I'm ready!

Christmas is one of my favorite time of the year.
I love spending time reading, eating, laughing, decorating, giving and receiving.
Seeing my family getting things they need, want and/or love.
There is something peaceful about this.
And I have been searching for peace, serenity and I feel it here.
I love it.
I wish I could hold on to it for longer.
I wish I could take it with me to Denmark.
I wish I could share it with everyone. allow them to feel what I feel during these times.

Christmas comes tomorrow, weather you like it or not.
I personally like it, I'm ready
So I wish you all merry Christmas and have the best holidays you can have with family and friends.
May the new year be the best so far.
I sincerely wish and hope this for you!
-with love-

The need to express oneself leads to ....

I'm still searching for the peacefulness.. the power that comes when you are in total ease with who you are and what you dream of..
I'm searching in all the wrong places.

These words, Peace, tranquility, serenity, calm and hopes are something that I can not seem to get out of my thoughts since yesterday. They are affecting me in some way. But a good way.
I have this urge to express myself, but I need the right audience for what I want to say.
I know to whom my message is ment for, but I can not get the attention of the needed audiences. What to do then?
Still communicate?
pour my heart out?
make space for new thoughts?
What to do when I have a point but no one is near to hear it?

But then again I might challenge my questions and ask - do you want this group to hear what you have to say?
Are you sure peace and harmony will follow?
because that's the ultimiate need for my message. To create the environment of tranquility, of serenity. Where I can be left in peace with no worries or thoughts in mind.
Is that the ideal world I'm looking for?

my heart is pounding as this need to express, to say something, to be heard increases but my hope for someone to actually listen ( or the right audience will be found ) decreases.
My hopes are diminishing.
they are fading, now when I need them the most.

I still search for this ideal world, where peace is upon me.
Where these thoughts, this pain, this history is kept aside but not forgotten.
Where it lies in hibernation and leaves me with peaceful new experiences.
I'm searching.
In all the wrong places.
Direct me to the right place.

-with love-

Today I talked to God

Today I went to church. I haven't been in a church for a long time. It was peaceful as I set there and listen to the service and looked at a painting of Jesus on the wall. Peace and quiet.
I felt at ease in my soul. Something that I haven't felt in a long time.
it made me think about my late grandfather and that I miss him.
It made me think about my family and how much I love them.
It made me think about friends and how I respect them.
It made me think about issue that I thought I was over but when talking about it, it still brings pain, hurt and disapointment with it.

I haven't been to a church for long as I dont feel like that's needed in order to stay spiritual and religious.
But I have experienced that when I sit in the church, listening and just breathing slowly.. it brings serenity.
I feel,
I think,
I believe.

Today, as I sat in church listening to the service, I spoke to God.
It feels better now, somehow.
Why I'm not sure.
but it does. And that something that can't be argued.
It wasn't a long talk. But I think it was needed.
And I'm hoping that now, after I have said things "outloud" something will happen. Hopefully I will start to let go.
Let it be.
I hope so!

-with love-

Love lifts us up!

Why do we lower ourselves when it comes to love and the person we are in love with?
This question came to my mind as I heard a song by Faith Evans where she says “I’m nothing without you” You are my everything”.
I can not except that someone would think so low of him/herself.

Ok, I will accept that when you are in love with an amazing person that person impacts you, that person can make you a better person – I wouldn’t go so far to say complete as I believe that is also a lowering statement.
The right person can have influence, can support you, and can lighten up your life in so many ways. But is it then right to say you are nothing without that person?
There must have been something there for this amazing person to fall in love with you to begin with?
Why would you imply that you are worth nothing by being alone?

Maybe the reason people make these statements is the fact that when this person, this individual who impacted you in so many ways, leaves your life you become “normal” again? And now you are used to be this lifted, inspired person who someone loved, so this feeling of being left without that is not wanted.
Going back to your old self then doesn’t feel right. And I agree, you shouldn’t go back to your old self. You take this learning, this experience of being this person and you develop your new self. But you are always something. You can even become more if you want to.

Saying you are nothing is of course being extremely romantic and I do realize that songs are playing with emotions and that’s why this sentence is there. But it just struck me now as I heard it tonight.

Love is a great thing. Being in love is even better. I wish that feeling to everyone. But what I wish more than that is that people love themselves and understand that they are someone. And that being in love only takes them to another level of their awesomeness. I always try to keep that in mind. It’s hard, but it’s so much worth it in the end.

-with love-

December starts with a soft bang!

It's December.
The weather has gotten very cold.
But the Christmas lights around the city brings it to life.
I heard that Copenhagen is one of the best cities to be in during this time of the year.
So far, it's been true :)

There is always something going on in my life, some actions, events and people coming and going. These passed few months it hasn't been so active. Like I said before, I had a steady routine and it didn't feel right.
Now as December starts I feel all active again, but still holding on to the routine in most parts. It feels good!
I guess it is just a phase I have to go through, to learn to appreciate my life.

Although December has just started it has brought with it dissapointment and sadness. But everything is balanced. So it has also brought joy, laughter, smiles and experiences.
I'm just learning to accept that good comes with bad, bad balances good and if I'm lucky.. the good outweights the bad.
as only 5 days have passed I know the good outweights the bad.
December is my month of joy, being happy and look forward to Christmas.
I just have to keep reminding myself that each dissapointment, each no, each sadness brings me one step closer to happiness if I just let it!
I have to have that in mind.
I need to :)
And I will!

- with love -