Indulgence - where art thou

Sitting in my bed with no light except the one from the computer, playing “the first cut is the deepest” with Duffy I’m feeling a little blue ( and no – it’s not from the cold in my apartment ;) )
I have to give up one thing that really makes my day good. One thing I look forward while waiting for breaks in classes, my way to wake up – Coffee!

These past few days I have been having heartburn and feeling quite tired. But I have also been drinking way to much coffee ( according to some people ). And to find out if the coffee is making my feeling bad, I need to take a break.

It sounds very simple when I’m writing this where, the music has changed to Creed playing very melancholy song – fitting very well to my feeling.
But when I actually think about giving up something that means a lot, makes an impact and I enjoy it doesn’t seem so simple anymore.
Why do I feel like that when I know it’s better for me to leave it. It might be the thing that is causing my heartburns?
Why do we have such hard times giving up the bad habits but we find it so easy to take new ones on?

Listening to the words of Red hot Chili Peppers – we just have to give it away.
Why isn’t it just that simple when you realize what it is you should give away?

Sometimes I find the human mind, feelings and stubbornness a very interesting issue. I have so little knowledge when it comes to these things. But I do like asking questions, challenge and wonder why I’m so weak at some areas when I’m so strong in others.
What decides where I’m stronger and where I’m not as strong and where I am a complete mess?

I’m not happy as I go into a new day where I will leave out few things that I like. I love myself to much ( meaning I don’t want to do hard things even though they are best ) to take something from me – but now it’s asked by someone else, someone who cares about me enough to make me realize what I need to do. And then I need to listen.
I need to by extra strong this week – without my coffee ;)

-With love -